“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Jane was on her back again when I got there. She seemed to feel a little more comfortable. After an average lunch she read the last two sessions to me, wearing her new close-up glasses, and zipped right through them. I told her I think that now she can read aloud faster than I can.

(This material is free-association stuff, following Seth’s suggestion in the private session for Jane on May 15. We’re to discuss her mistrust of her physical body, and related subjects. We’d have tried it yesterday, except that Jim Baker brought her the new glasses. What follows is obviously simplified and shorter, since I couldn’t record every spoken word between us. We wanted to tap into the hidden emotions behind the words.

(I asked her about Seth, a male, speaking through a woman. She said she suspected that as a woman she’d have more authority if she spoke as a male. She “sensed a feeling of duplicity” in the beginning of the sessions. I don’t remember this either. Again she was getting nervous, her voice almost teary. She recalled that once Seth said that if he’d come through as a woman she wouldn’t have stood for it. All of this male business is related to the male priests in her childhood years.

(3:35. She was again nervous and edgy, and had another smoke. She talked about having a session to put it all together. She described again all those visits from Father Trenton. She talked about how the one priest who put her to bed when she was but 3 or 4 years old would “play” with her sexually, and how Marie finally figured that out. This was the one who called her up while we lived together; he was old and living in a retirement home south of Pennsylvania, I believe. She described how Father Trenton sat with his back to Marie when he was mad at the mother, and how Father Rakin made advances to her. She grew up in a male-dominated world. The first time they met, Jane said Father Rakin said to her when she was but 13: “You’re just too forward.” A nice greeting, and one Jane obviously still remembers. She realized today, while talking, that her grandfather had no love for women either. And Marie said to her: “You were a nice kid until you turned about sixteen — then you turned into a bitch.” Several times in Florida she thought I was going to leave her. I wasn’t.

(Here is the session for May 18, 1984:)

(4:32 p.m. It was getting windy outside, and cooler, and was clouding over. “To tell you the truth, I was so uncomfortable I didn’t think I could have a session,” Jane said. She had a cigarette before I turned her. We thought of games involving the French book, or even crossword puzzles. In the ash tree just starting to get leaves beside the windows of 330, I saw a tiny yellow bird flitting about among the branches. I pointed it out to Jane, but she couldn’t quite see it, except for a flash of color. I’d seen the same bird, I think, yesterday afternoon also.