“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Jane was a bit more comfortable lying on her back today, though not a great deal. She ate little lunch — or supper, for that matter. But she did very well reading a couple of sessions. I said I was seriously considering giving up answering most of the fan mail, which has increased considerably lately. I’m having more and more trouble getting free time to concentrate upon getting Dreams done.

(The ulcer on Jane’s right knee is showing definite signs of healing, and closing up on the inside — more so than on her knuckle on the left hand.

(We had the fan on and the windows wide open, although it wasn’t that hot outside. Jane’s Seth voice was stronger than usual. I might add that I had my “eye thing” throughout the session — those bright, jagged patterns moving across my field of vision. I described the effect, and added a drawing of it, in Jane’s Adventures in Consciousness, which was published in 1975. Today’s episode was the first in a long while, triggered I believe by stress, yet it didn’t last long. I didn’t take the time to use the pendulum to learn more.)

(4:40 p.m. “Well, I’m glad I did that,” Jane said. “I’ll have a smoke while you read it to me.” She’d been interrupted right after the start of the session by a nurse bringing her vitamin C. Recording the session, I’d been quite amazed that a certain frightened portion of Jane’s self could exert such power over the rest of her mental and physical personality. Then I thought that perhaps I wasn’t amazed at all — that such things could be old stuff to therapists following various psychological disciplines. Once again, I ended up depressed.

(Jane picked up on this, for she said that I would disapprove. I said it would be useless to deny the existence of her symptoms. And she replied that she could already feel the emotions connected with the Seth material today. I thought that tomorrow we could do something about that, then realized that Jim Baker, our optometrist, was due after 2:00 p.m. to deliver the two new pair of glasses he’d examined Jane for some time ago. That was prime time for us to try free association, yet Jane had to have the glasses.

(Just as I turned Jane on her side after the session, our neighbor Joe Bumbalo — who is very ill with cancer — called to invite me to share Chinese food and rhubarb pie with him and his wife, Margaret. I didn’t get to their house until after 7:30 because I’d been trying to help Jane get more comfortable. The food was delicious — until two pieces of chicken became lodged in my throat as I talked. Joe, lying on his couch, saw me trying to swallow, and called Margaret from the kitchen. I could still breathe, but with difficulty as my throat muscles kept trying to down the meat. I knew the situation could get very serious, but none of us panicked. Margaret, who had been a school nurse, used the Heimlich maneuver: she wrapped her strong arms around me from the back and squeezed. On the third squeeze, one portion of the chicken popped out of my mouth. I could talk hoarsely while feeling the second portion work its way down my esophagus. To the Bumbalos’ surprise, I finally was able to finish the meal. In a flash I’d been prepared for Margaret to use all force necessary, even to the point of one or more broken ribs, as I’d read could happen. And in bed that night, I wondered what would have happened to Jane had I not survived …)