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WTH Part One: Chapter 7: May 13, 1984 3/29 (10%) parents illness youngster reward children
– The Way Toward Health
– © 2011 Laurel Davies-Butts
– Part One: Dilemmas
– Chapter 7: The State of Childhood in Relationship to Health, and Hints for Parents
– May 13, 1984 3:10 P.M. Sunday

[... 16 paragraphs ...]

Many children acquire poor health habits through the well-meaning mistakes of their parents. This is particularly true when parents actually reward a child for being ill. In such cases, the ailing child is pampered far more than usual, given extra special attention, offered delicacies such as ice cream, let off some ordinary chores, and in other ways encouraged to think of bouts of illness as times of special attention and reward.

I do not mean that ill children should not be treated with kindness, and perhaps a bit of special attention — but the reward should be given for the child’s recovery, and efforts should be made to keep the youngster’s routine as normal as possible. Children often know quite well the reasons for some of their illnesses, for often they learn from their parents that illness can be used as a means to achieve a desired result.

[... 3 paragraphs ...]

Such procedures unfortunately rob a child of important self-knowledge and understanding. They begin to feel victims to this or that disorder. Since they have no idea that they themselves caused the problem to begin with, then they do not realize that they themselves possess the power to right the situation. If they are being rewarded for such behavior in the meantime, then the pressure is less, of course, so that bouts of illness or poor health can become ways of attaining attention, favorite status, and reward.

[... 6 paragraphs ...]

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