1 result for (book:wth AND heading:"part one chapter 7 may 13 1984" AND stemmed:reason)
5/29 (17%)
parents
illness
youngster
reward
children
[... 17 paragraphs ...]
I do not mean that ill children should not be treated with kindness, and perhaps a bit of special attention — but the reward should be given for the child’s recovery, and efforts should be made to keep the youngster’s routine as normal as possible. Children often know quite well the reasons for some of their illnesses, for often they learn from their parents that illness can be used as a means to achieve a desired result.
Often parents hide such behavior from themselves. They deliberately close their eyes to some of the reasons for their own illnesses, and this behavior has become so habitual that they are no longer conscious of their own intent.
Children, however, may be quite conscious of the fact that they willed themselves to become ill, in order to avoid school, or an examination, or a coming feared family event. They soon learn that such self-knowledge is not acceptable, however, so they begin to pretend ignorance, quickly learning to tell themselves instead that they have a bug or a virus, or have caught a cold, seemingly for no reason at all.
[... 2 paragraphs ...]
Parents who are aware of these facts can start helping their children at an early age by asking them simply the reasons for their illness. A mother might say: “You don’t need to have a temperature in order to avoid school, or as a way of getting love and attention, for I love you in any case. And if there is a problem at school, we can work it out together, so you don’t have to make yourself ill.” Again, the reasons for such behavior are often quite clear in the child’s mind. So if the parents begin such questioning and reassurance when the child is young, then the youngster will learn that while illness may be used to attain a desired result, there are far better, healthier ways of achieving an end result.
[... 4 paragraphs ...]
(4:13 p.m. For some reason I didn’t read the session to Jane. She was still uncomfortable, so I turned her on her side earlier than usual. She called, with Carla’s help, around 9:25, as I was typing this session, and said she felt better.)
