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WTH Part One: Chapter 7: May 13, 1984 2/29 (7%) parents illness youngster reward children
– The Way Toward Health
– © 2011 Laurel Davies-Butts
– Part One: Dilemmas
– Chapter 7: The State of Childhood in Relationship to Health, and Hints for Parents
– May 13, 1984 3:10 P.M. Sunday

[... 21 paragraphs ...]

Such procedures unfortunately rob a child of important self-knowledge and understanding. They begin to feel victims to this or that disorder. Since they have no idea that they themselves caused the problem to begin with, then they do not realize that they themselves possess the power to right the situation. If they are being rewarded for such behavior in the meantime, then the pressure is less, of course, so that bouts of illness or poor health can become ways of attaining attention, favorite status, and reward.

Parents who are aware of these facts can start helping their children at an early age by asking them simply the reasons for their illness. A mother might say: “You don’t need to have a temperature in order to avoid school, or as a way of getting love and attention, for I love you in any case. And if there is a problem at school, we can work it out together, so you don’t have to make yourself ill.” Again, the reasons for such behavior are often quite clear in the child’s mind. So if the parents begin such questioning and reassurance when the child is young, then the youngster will learn that while illness may be used to attain a desired result, there are far better, healthier ways of achieving an end result.

[... 5 paragraphs ...]

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