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WTH Part One: Chapter 7: May 13, 1984 2/29 (7%) parents illness youngster reward children
– The Way Toward Health
– © 2011 Laurel Davies-Butts
– Part One: Dilemmas
– Chapter 7: The State of Childhood in Relationship to Health, and Hints for Parents
– May 13, 1984 3:10 P.M. Sunday

[... 19 paragraphs ...]

Children, however, may be quite conscious of the fact that they willed themselves to become ill, in order to avoid school, or an examination, or a coming feared family event. They soon learn that such self-knowledge is not acceptable, however, so they begin to pretend ignorance, quickly learning to tell themselves instead that they have a bug or a virus, or have caught a cold, seemingly for no reason at all.

[... 2 paragraphs ...]

Parents who are aware of these facts can start helping their children at an early age by asking them simply the reasons for their illness. A mother might say: “You don’t need to have a temperature in order to avoid school, or as a way of getting love and attention, for I love you in any case. And if there is a problem at school, we can work it out together, so you don’t have to make yourself ill.” Again, the reasons for such behavior are often quite clear in the child’s mind. So if the parents begin such questioning and reassurance when the child is young, then the youngster will learn that while illness may be used to attain a desired result, there are far better, healthier ways of achieving an end result.

[... 5 paragraphs ...]

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