“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Jane called last night. Her mattress felt better, she said. She’s had a lot of difficulty with it for the past few days, and has been blue and quite uncomfortable while trying to lay on her back.

(This morning Dr. Wilson visited Jane, and suggested that he’d like to clean out the site above her right knee where it’s open and draining. There is a large hole there, although signs of healing are apparent. He also said that even if Jane had an operation, he didn’t know if it would help straighten the leg. Jane and he discussed some sort of chair in which she could sit up, and he mentioned a type of vehicle like a wheel-chair-lounge of some sort, that perhaps could be adjusted for her to use.

(After she’d eaten and I was getting ready to leave, Jane said, “I really feel guilty at making your life so hard,” and added more words to that effect. I think this is the first time — at least that I remember — that she’s made this statement in such a simple, direct way. At once I thought it was excellent material for free association, and that we should pursue it. I replied that we’d better forget that and try to focus on the future — yet such guilt feelings could be playing a significant role in her daily life, and we should find out if this is so.

(My own pendulum sessions lately have told me that I was feeling my own guilt because I thought I should have helped her more in the past. Just this morning my pendulum^* for the first time said that I no longer felt guilty. This is an accomplishment for me, and one I must continue to explore. I’ve taken to using the pendulum in the morning after breakfast and last thing at night before going to bed. It appears to be working well. I haven’t gone into this material with Jane yet. Now may be the time.

(The windows were wide open in 330 when she had the session, and at times the traffic noise was quite bothersome. The room had turned a little chilly, and Jane had asked me to turn off the fan.)