“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(“Years ago in the 1960’s,” Jane said, “I thought I loved you a lot more than you loved me, and that you could get along very well all by yourself.” I said that was a total misconception on her part, that I’d never had such ideas, nor wanted to do any such thing. It had never entered my head. I knew things bugged me — working, being an artist, or trying to, and so forth — but not anything to do with her. I didn’t even fear fatherhood as much as she feared becoming pregnant. Not that I wanted fatherhood.

(We talked a lot about our early days together — work and our arts, prestige, money, and the opinions of others. I said that much of what we talked about would be considered the normal hassles in life, but that we had put negative connotations on those things and ignored the positive. Our told troubles now seem minute in retrospect. I added that each person is so different from each other person that it’s useless to make judgments, so each person might as well do their thing and let the chips fall. Who’s to say it’s right or wrong, as long as one doesn’t injure another, or steal, and so on.

(Jane said she thought that if I’d had to choose between painting and her, I’d have chosen painting. Not so, I said — after all, I worked at commercial art four years full time at one stretch, and part time a number of other times. She agreed that she needed much approval — something I hadn’t fully understood at the time we married. I added that I’d always been proud of her as my wife, and considered myself very lucky to have her. I’d never once questioned her loyalty or love, and I’d taken it that she felt the same way. I discovered today that I could have been wrong at times — strange.

People who wrote books against the Catholic Church were excommunicated. Ruburt transferred those fears to society at large. There was a conflict between creative work and the church even when only poetry was involved. He should indeed give himself suggestions that the necessary insights will come to him, and that the proper connections be made whether consciously or unconsciously. But the idea is that it is safe to express himself, and that the true purpose of his life is indeed to express those characteristics that compose his personal reality.