“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

This retreat from pleasure begins to cut down upon normal activity, new encounters, or explorations that might in themselves help relieve the problem by opening up new options. Such a person becomes dejected looking — unsmiling and somber, leading others to comment upon such a dejected countenance. Comments such as these: “You look tired,” or: “What’s the matter, don’t you feel well?” and other such remarks often simply reinforce the individual’s earlier sense of dejection, until finally this same kind of give-and-take leads to a situation in which the individual and his fellows begin to intermix in a negative rather than a positive manner.

I do not mean to imply that it is always detrimental to make such queries as “Are you ill?” or “Are you tired?” Such questions do indeed predict their own answers. When a person is feeling in good health, exuberant and alive, such queries will be nonchalantly shoved aside — they will have no effect whatsoever. But constant questions of such a nature do not help an individual who is having difficulties — and in fact too frequent expressions of compassion can also worsen a person’s state of mind, stressing the idea that he or she must be very ill indeed to attract such feelings of compassion. It is far better, then, to make no comment at all under such conditions. (Long pause.) I am not speaking of genuine questions of concern so much as rather automatic, unthinking, negative comments. Period.

On the other hand, it is an excellent practice to comment upon another individual’s obvious zest or energy or good spirits. In such a way, you reward positive behavior, and may indeed begin a chain of positive activity instead of continuing a chain of negative reactions.