“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(While I was on the phone an attendant brought us a letter from Sue Watkins. When I opened it I found a check for $1,000 made out by Helen Granger Park. “What’s Miss Bowman sending us money for?” I asked Jane. I was momentarily confused — for my art teacher in high school in Sayre, Pennsylvania had been Helen Bowman, until she married later in life and became Helen Bowman Park. I’d always called her Miss Bowman. It turned out that the Helen Park who had written had read Maude’s article in Reality Change, and sent the check to Sue to forward to us, to make sure we’d get it safely. That Helen Park lives in Austin, Texas. I may call her tonight, and Sue also. I told Jane I didn’t know whether to attach any significance to the two Helen Parks or not. Money was involved with both people, since my Miss Bowman had lent me the money to go through art school in New York City. I had repaid her during my three years of military service during World War II.

(I should add that when I realized what the check for the $1,000 meant, I had strange initial feelings of guilt and of rebellion, of being now in a pretty vulnerable position in some strange way, even though the money would help with hospital charges. I also thought that although Helen Park said in her letter that there were no strings attached to the donation, still there must be attachments in some form — that it was natural that there would be. The only way out of that situation that I thought of at the moment was that the giving of the gift, and the personal contact it meant, constituted the attachment. I now think there will be a variety of strings, in some form or another, and I don’t mean to be cynical in making this observation.

(Then I called Sue in Dundee to thank her for forwarding the check, and we talked for at least half an hour. The upshot of all of the activity is that I was late getting to the typewriter, and it’s now 11:20 p.m. as I finish this session. Sleep well, Jane.)