“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(The day was about 34 degrees. When I got to 330 Jane told me that Shawn Peterson had been admitted to intensive care last night with chest pains, but that the tests so far have been negative. “The nurses are sicker than the patients,” Jane said she heard one of the nurses say this morning.

(Jeff Karder, Jane’s doctor, visited her this morning. He was very pleased with her progress. “For him to say very good is something,” Jane said. “I’ve been getting good reports about you,” he told her. He also asked Jane about our insurance hassles. She explained as best she could, and about the infirmary. Jane asked him why her right leg was shorter than the left one, and Jeff explained that the break had healed but that the bones were out of alignment, hence the shortness. He said it would take a major operation to restore the leg, with no guarantees that it could be done. A “minor” operation could fix the leg well enough so she could sit up, he said, after Jane said she wanted to start sitting up.

(It’s hardly a coincidence, then, that one of the questions I had for Seth today, and had added to yesterday’s session, concerned her right leg and why she wasn’t straightening it out. The negative part of Jeff’s information is that he said she couldn’t sit up until the leg was fixed to some degree, at least. I’d expected that sort of diagnosis for some time. “Shit,” Jane said, “if my body can recover like it has, then it can fix the leg too.” I believe it. Jane took the visit well indeed this morning, and I congratulate her for doing so. I wanted to ask Seth about the whole thing anyhow, since he’s said several times that she’ll be able to walk normally and with some confidence.

(I showed Jane the list of questions I’ve been acquiring, at Seth’s own suggestion, and told her that one of them concerned the insurance situation — that I didn’t want to mess it up by demanding action from our lawyer, say. Seth had said six weeks ago that the issue would be settled to my satisfaction, and our lawyer had said not to worry, and that’s the last we’ve heard. I added that I couldn’t imagine the hospital not demanding action before this — yet they haven’t. Seth had said the question would be cleared up without any long wait.

(3:40. At my suggestion Jane began to try writing with one of my pens. She managed to do something, resting the pad against her right knee — which is sore to the touch. She even held the pen in her right hand. I’m to bring in the clipboard tomorrow. I’m sure she can make progress here. It might free her enough so she could write poetry at night, say, when she’s alone.

This entire belief system was detrimental enough, when you were devoted to writing and painting as these are generally understood. When Ruburt’s psychic abilities began to show themselves, however, those same beliefs made both of you even more cautious than before, and more worried about reprisal from others — and as far as Ruburt was concerned, more worried about criticism or scorn. All of those beliefs existed along with many unfortunate ones that were sexually oriented — those that dictated, for example, the traditional roles of man and wife, or man and woman. Ruburt felt some guilt in expressing psychic abilities in such a marked fashion, when it seemed that the male of the relationship should be the most highly talented, and by far the most successful financially (intently). So your roles in that manner upset both of you at times.

(4:40.) Ruburt, at one period, even feared that the young psychologist at Oswego was correct — that his psychic abilities were mere attempts to prove himself superior to you.^* These are all beliefs that both of you have wrestled with over the years. You also had many excellent beliefs going with you also, so that you did indeed use your abilities and express your natures. You enjoyed your relationship with each other, the relationship with friends, and you did also enjoy some financial success.

(Long pause.) The effect of those old negative beliefs, however, was stronger in Ruburt than in yourself, for he certainly thought at one time that if he curtailed physical motion people would not attack him for his amazing psychic and mental motion. The inhibition of physical motion obviously took place little by little, until he began to learn the truth — that human beings are meant to express all of their abilities, mental and physical, and that life is an arena of expression. In fact, life is expression.

At one point, for a while, Ruburt did no writing or sessions, and was physically nearly immobile besides. Then he began to learn the lessons that were needed — that life is expression, and that it is safe for him to move mentally and physically, using both his psychic, creative, mental and physical abilities to their fullest.