“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I finished early so I’d have some extra time to open the account for Jane’s hospital expenses — but wouldn’t you know it, the phone rang at 11:50 a.m. It was someone from social services at the hospital. She wanted to know what the latest news was, and I told her we were doing the best we could. I didn’t understand all she said, but something about the Infirmary, beds, and what she’s been telling people. She said she was “getting frightened” at what she had to tell people. I told her Jane and I have been frightened for a long time, and she understood. I explained how I’d had to back off from worrying in order to save my sanity and get some work done. She did have a bit of news — that insurance has been asking for more records of Jane’s care.

(The window was closed but there was no heat again in 330, even though it had been “fixed” by changing the thermostat. Seth’s opening remarks were undoubtedly in response to my own remarks at the close of yesterday’s session, when I’d written that he often didn’t follow through, as promised, on material.)

(4:47 p.m. Seth’s material was reassuring, of course, and I believed it. So did Jane, I think, in spite of it all. “So if you followed his stuff,” I said after supper, when I was getting ready to leave, “you wouldn’t have taken the antibiotics, and the body would have taken care of itself.” That also meant that in the interim Jane wouldn’t have “been trying too hard,” of course.

(And no matter what Seth says, I’d still like some material on the extremes of Jane’s behavior to her fears of ridicule, guilt, being attacked — the whole bit. I guess I was thinking that it’s even okay to have fears, even strong ones, without going all the way with them so that they end up rendering one helpless. In larger terms I even understand why one would choose to carry certain behavior to ultimate extremes. In the short run, it’s still not easy to grasp, however.)