“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Jane didn’t call last night to give me a progress report on the new motions she was enjoying when I left yesterday. Those motions are still mostly with her, as she demonstrated today. She slept very well last night.

(Jane’s temperature has been in the normal range. No blood was taken this morning. She ate a fair lunch.

(3:30. I read yesterday’s session to Jane, after she couldn’t do it. My throat was hoarse. I’d started coughing after eating half of one of the candies I’d bought Jane for Valentine’s Day. I had trouble reading.

(3:55. Jane’s temperature was 98.9. I read her the sessions for February 1, 6, and 7. She said her eyes do bother her. They’re very red. I suggested she have a session soon if she was going to, regardless of whether her blood pressure still had to be taken. Once again the window was open and the curtains closed because of the very bright sun. This is Day 15 of her new campaign, and I’d already reminded her of the question we wanted Seth to answer: Why had this fever and infection business erupted after Day 1?

(Jane’s Seth voice was again on the quiet side, her delivery quite slow at times.)

That determination and that faith also let him see (long pause) how far from healthy, normal behavior he had come. Earlier, he had been afraid to realize that distance. This did arouse still more faith and determination, but he was then faced with that realization he had not encountered earlier, and he saw how long it had been since he had enjoyed anything like normal mobility.

(Pause at 4:27.) In the same way, Ruburt encountered the hospital surroundings from another viewpoint, seeing how apart that environment was from a normal situation. That (underlined) frightened him also.

(There was a long pause. Jane hesitated, and I felt that I’d caught her half out of trance. She later confirmed this — but she went back into trance and answered.)

(I described my dream of the other day, which I’d already told Jane about: I’d been sitting on our couch with Jane and our neighbor, Joe Bumbalo. Joe was living with us; the three of us were eating supper as we watched a program on TV. Margaret, Joe’s wife, wasn’t in the dream. Briefly, at the time of the dream, I’d wondered if it hinted at something happening to either of them — Joe or Margaret, that is.)

Joe has recovered from a serious heart condition, of course — and if you will excuse me, that was the heart of the matter. Here you saw Jane, or Ruburt, as well-recovered as was Joe. It was as if you had taken in your neighbor Joe to serve as a case in point. Joe also survived the hospital environment.

(Whereupon I reminded her that she didn’t have to use anything, as per the session for February 1 that I’d read her today. She only had to get out of the way of her own body’s natural ability to heal itself. I was amazed at the way her body was still trying to right itself after all of these years. How cruel we could be to ourselves, I thought, and this reminded me of my old questions about why the body consciousness itself didn’t just rebel at times and refuse to let itself be so beaten down by erroneous beliefs. Seth has said a little about this in response to a question of mine, but we need much more. Nor has he ever referred to my question about whatever reincarnational influences might be operating with Jane.

(I told Jane that now that the fever business was on the way out, I expected to see her body continue its improvements, as obviously it was trying to do. Her new motions were a good sign of the body’s incredible strivings to express itself.

(I read this session to Jane after supper. She then admitted that she’d become frightened today because she’d been coughing up mucous occasionally. And she became even more frightened after the session. I was frightened by her reactions — appalled that after all we were trying to do, she still reacted to something beneficial — the coughing — as something to be scared of. The implications took my breath away, and I became depressed with thoughts that I didn’t see how she was ever going to make it, ever going to break that cycle of fearful response to the world and her place in it, her fear of being attacked, of life itself. I wondered what we’d been trying to do all of this time.

(Now for the little dream I had while napping. I told Jane about it while she ate supper. I dreamed that I received a call from a clerk at the bank. The girl told me that one of the checks I’d deposited for Jane’s hospital fund wasn’t for $1000, as we’d both thought — but was instead for $1 million. I was totally surprised at the news. “Are you sure?” I asked. The clerk said she was, that we’d miscounted the zeroes before. “Hold that check,” I said to her. “I’ll be down there in 20 minutes.”

(I told Jane I didn’t expect that anybody was going to give us a million, but I did think it was a dream that meant well for our future …)