“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Whereupon I reminded her that she didn’t have to use anything, as per the session for February 1 that I’d read her today. She only had to get out of the way of her own body’s natural ability to heal itself. I was amazed at the way her body was still trying to right itself after all of these years. How cruel we could be to ourselves, I thought, and this reminded me of my old questions about why the body consciousness itself didn’t just rebel at times and refuse to let itself be so beaten down by erroneous beliefs. Seth has said a little about this in response to a question of mine, but we need much more. Nor has he ever referred to my question about whatever reincarnational influences might be operating with Jane.

(I read this session to Jane after supper. She then admitted that she’d become frightened today because she’d been coughing up mucous occasionally. And she became even more frightened after the session. I was frightened by her reactions — appalled that after all we were trying to do, she still reacted to something beneficial — the coughing — as something to be scared of. The implications took my breath away, and I became depressed with thoughts that I didn’t see how she was ever going to make it, ever going to break that cycle of fearful response to the world and her place in it, her fear of being attacked, of life itself. I wondered what we’d been trying to do all of this time.

(Now for the little dream I had while napping. I told Jane about it while she ate supper. I dreamed that I received a call from a clerk at the bank. The girl told me that one of the checks I’d deposited for Jane’s hospital fund wasn’t for $1000, as we’d both thought — but was instead for $1 million. I was totally surprised at the news. “Are you sure?” I asked. The clerk said she was, that we’d miscounted the zeroes before. “Hold that check,” I said to her. “I’ll be down there in 20 minutes.”