“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Third: At 6:10, as I began feeding Jane, the thought of Steve and Tracy Blumenthal crossed my mind quite definitely, without being terribly intrusive. Here too, I hadn’t been thinking of them — had forgotten, in fact, that the day was Sunday, when they usually visit. I suddenly knew they were going to call the hospital. A few seconds later I heard high-heeled footsteps in the hall, coming around the corner, approaching 330. A woman we didn’t know knocked, then came in to tell us that Steve was on the line, and wanted to visit Jane this evening. Jane said okay — after 8:00 p.m. I told Jane I hadn’t even had time to tell her of my impression before the woman — who perhaps was a volunteer answering the phone — came to us. In other words, I’d picked up the fact of the call while the woman walked toward us and I heard her. It’s possible, I speculated, that the very sound and rhythm of her footsteps helped trigger my conscious realization of the call from Steve.

(No interruptions this morning, Monday, January 9. I worked on taxes for an hour, Dreams the rest of the time. I took the Christmas bell, made in Switzerland and sent to us by a reader in upstate New York, in to 330; when wound up it plays Silent Night most evocatively. The woman who sent it wanted Jane to write the founder of a Seth group in Syracuse; the lady is dying of cancer. I wrote both women last night.

Exuberance and joy, however, basically have nothing to do with time or age. They may be expressed as vividly and beautifully at the age of 80 as at the age of 8. For whole segments of the population, however, it seems as if joy and health are fleeting attributes expressed briefly in childhood, and then lost forever.

(“You’re saying that to some extent at least, he still feels that he isn’t free to move and walk. I’ve thought of this several times myself lately.”)

(“Well,” I joked, “at least you did something useful today.” She had a cigarette. The supper tray came. As we talked before I turned her on her left side, I said that I felt she still did not feel entirely free to walk, that something — some beliefs, or set of them — still held her back. I’ve been conscious of this feeling of my own for some time, and have thought of mentioning it at times. I didn’t want to overdo it, either.

(While she ate I told Jane of another question I’d had in mind for some time, and asked that Seth comment: Our situation, for which we’re both responsible, is one of extremes. That is, it seems that we could achieve the same results with less exaggerated, less damaging extremes of behavior. Why did we have to go so far? I’ve always wondered about this. I granted that one could always say that the same end couldn’t be achieved by not going as far, but then, I told Jane, if one followed that line of reasoning to its logical conclusion, physical death would result — that state would be the final extreme of any form of behavior.