“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(The day was amazingly warm — over 43 — as I drove to 330 after leaving my own typewriter at the service franchise. As she ate lunch I told Jane about my very vivid and colorful dream of last night. I felt it was significant.

(This dream stayed with me the whole day, so strong was its impact upon me. I kept feeling that strange affection for Jean, mixed with a regret of some kind that nothing could really transpire between us — because of age and other factors. I told Jane I also felt that Jean was somehow dissatisfied in life, perhaps confused, perhaps caught between her artistic leanings and her upbringing to lead the more conventional life — working at the hospital, and so forth. I sensed, I think, that she wasn’t too sure about her move to the city in North Carolina — Raleigh? — that she planned with her boyfriend. Yesterday Frank had told me that it wouldn’t be as easy to see Jean now that it was a 15-hour drive instead of just running down to Washington DC.

(3:00. Jane began reading yesterday’s session, but couldn’t do it. She quit after a few minutes while I worked on mail. She tried again at 3:20 and did much better. I told her I’ve tried Seth’s suggestions about enhancing my close-up vision, given in a recent session, and that they’ve worked very well. Jane finished the session at 3:35. At 3:40 she started reading the session for October 9, 1983, but didn’t do quite as well — see the hospital and session chronology in my opening notes for the session of January 6, 1984. She laid the session aside again for a cigarette, then went back to it at 3:58. Finally she just gave up on it, and eventually decided to have a short session, since it was getting late.)

(4:38 p.m. I read the session to Jane. “I don’t know why,” she said, “but as you read that I got the feeling that my father is looking out for me …” I said that was certainly implied in the session, and that I’d wondered about it as Seth spoke. I also reminded her that in the October session I’d written in my notes about redemption. This is a subject I feel strongly about, yet we seldom if ever mention the word. I’ve also dealt with its implications in Dreams.

(We hadn’t been interrupted during the session. In fact, we finally realized that no one had checked Jane’s vitals or emptied her Foley all afternoon. A nurse showed up at 4:47 and did the vitals — temperature 98.3, blood pressure excellent.

(As we talked, something triggered Jane’s memory of a time in her teens when she’d hiked all the way out to the garage where her grandfather had worked in Saratoga Springs — “way across town.” She thought she could have been in the eighth grade. Jane remembered looking down into a puddle and composing a poem. She even remembered at least some of it:

(Strange: Later in the afternoon I finally made an important connection about the unexpected value of dreams. I told Jane that I suddenly understood that in the dream I’d experienced paternal feelings — genuine ones — that I’d never known in conscious life, or had access to. It followed that in the dream state, then, I’d actually enlarged upon my experience in this life, and in a most meaningful and strong way. Even as I write this account at 9:30 p.m. I still feel the impact of those feelings.