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WTH Part One: Chapter 1: January 16, 1984 9/29 (31%) boxcar Sue chassis trinkets kitten
– The Way Toward Health
– © 2011 Laurel Davies-Butts
– Part One: Dilemmas
– Chapter 1: The Purpose of This Book, and Some Important Comments About Exuberance and Health
– January 16, 1984 4:23 P.M. Monday

(It was very cold last night, and at 6:30 this morning it was still 5 degrees below zero. When I left for 330 this noon the temperature was barely 10 above. I’d typed a letter to our lawyer, regarding our taxes, and mailed it this noon. I told Jane later that I need information about accepting gift money, via Maude Cardwell. I suspect such funds are taxable, so to legally avoid having much of any funds lost through heavy taxes, Jane and I need advice as to what to do. It may be, I said, that we’ll never see the money. Maude Cardwell may have to pay bills for us, and so forth. In any case, the donor can take deductions, I think.

(Jane ate a good lunch. Afterward she described a series of “experiences” she’d had after I left her last night. They happened at about 8:15, before staff people came in to turn her on her side. It’s difficult to describe what she told me, and would take many words and much time. “I wish I could write it myself,” she said. She was in various altered states during some of the experiences, I’d say, and a dreaming one in others.

(Jane began by finding herself as a young girl on a swing at the recreation field across the street from St. Clement’s Catholic Church and School in Saratoga Springs, where she grew up. “I looked down and saw that I wore black shoes and white socks, like little kids do, like I look in some of those old photographs.” At one time here she thought she was only four years old. She knew she was doing those things while at the field, she said.

(Then she found herself in a tub of warm water, and she was filled with sexual sensual feelings, especially in the vaginal area. “I suddenly realized I was hallucinating the water and stuff, that I was really in my hospital bed. Then I thought that anyway, I could have a kitten here. We have two rooms and Rob could hide the kitten, and keep a litter box hidden too — how I didn’t know.”

(Next, Jane said she was trying to find a radio and recorder here at our hill house in Elmira so that Sue Watkins, who lives an hour’s drive to the north, could borrow it. While searching she suddenly found a lot of cubbyholes filled with trinkets that she knew were all hers, and she was very pleased at this knowledge. “Then the rest of the time I was involved with recorders.” She found herself inside something like a boxcar that was also the inside chassis of a cassette-playing machine. In this chassis Jane and Sue were going up and down and around beautiful, jewel-like green hills. “It was fantastic.” Then like a rising sun Jane saw her own enormous face looking down at it all — the jewel colors, Sue and herself, the vehicle.

(Jane didn’t actually see Sue during the experience — she just knew Sue was there, talking to her. Then the trip “got much less clear,” and she was trying to figure out what to lend Sue. She can’t remember.

(3:10. I cleaned Jane’s glasses. She put on lipstick, then looked in the mirror I held up for her. She even volunteered to do this herself. She smiled — briefly. I laughed, telling her her behavior reminded me of our cats this morning, when it was so cold: Both Billy and Mitzi had barely stepped out onto the picnic table from the kitchen window, when they reversed themselves and hopped right back into the house. I doubt if my wife thought the comparison was humorous.

[... 18 paragraphs ...]

(4:38 p.m. I was a bit surprised at the ending of the session at that point, I told Jane, because I’d been still waiting for Seth to answer the part of my question dealing with her being inside a recorder. Jane was surprised also — since she hadn’t heard me ask that part of the question. I hadn’t spoken loudly. Maybe Seth can go into it next time. I told Jane that obviously the recorder was a communication device of a kind, so the connection may lie there.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

(I went out to the parking lot to run up the car at 5:00, it was so cold. After getting back and turning Jane and massaging her with Oil of Olay, she showed me how her right hand is still releasing the curled-up fingers, as begun yesterday. She had good movement in the right elbow, quite free as far as it will open up, and this is increasing. I told her that the changes in the nodules on top of her left wrist have now decreased in size considerably, as they have been doing very gradually for some time now. Sleep well, Jane.)

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