“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(The day was very cold — only 12 degrees at noon. I stopped at the bank to buy a check and a money order for Blue Cross and the monthly hospital payment on our old bill. When I got to 330 Jane told me about her dream, which she had not long after I left last night.

(In the dream she was in a bathtub, without water, talking to her mother whom she could not see. This was followed by “a very sensual” episode she cannot recall at all. Then she stood in a room letting her hair down. She thinks this means that symbolically she’s “letting her hair down” as she continues to learn.

(Jane was “blue and nervous” this morning, but talked herself out of it. She ate a good lunch. I had yesterday’s session typed, and she tried several times to read it without success — even after I’d given her eyedrops, she just couldn’t do it today. I finally read the session to her, finishing at 3:33.

(Afterward, as we talked, Jane agreed to look in the mirror, which I have had available in 330 for some months. At first she was afraid to, but it went well — with only a little catch in her throat she faced herself, and did very well at it. The main point we agreed on was that using a mirror meant one less important hassle to deal with; she’d be hiding that much less from herself.

(We put on lipstick and she looked very good, with her fine skin and lack of wrinkles that most people her age have. She’s 54. I told her she looked remarkably well. Her hair also looks good — curling and alive. I said if it was dyed, as she used to do, that she’d look fine, just like her old self. I also suggested she look in the mirror, at least briefly each day, and that soon there would be nothing to it. She might even get to look forward to seeing herself continue to improve.

(Karina was hollering out in the hall, around the corner, and had been doing so steadily ever since I got there.)

In the past, the body itself was depressed (a very important point), running at low gear, and this is certainly not the case now. Each time, of course, the period of blueness is briefer, the system cleared more quickly, and the new improvements also show themselves at a quicker rate.

Ruburt has already been healed of conditions quite as complicated as the leg that was broken.

(“Do you want to say something about our discussion yesterday, about changing the past from the present?” I felt that Seth was bound to agree with Jane’s version of what he’d said, rather than mine.

(A moment later Shawn Peterson came in to say hello. I made the mistake of asking how her husband was, since I’d thought about asking yesterday, but hadn’t. Shawn launched into a long account of her husband’s latest troubles. Yesterday the two of them had spent a day at the hospital in Sayre. With the best intentions, her account reflected all the negative beliefs about illness that Jane and I had come to expect in the hospital setting. After Shawn left, I read to Jane her material from 4:25.)

(4:44 p.m. That was it, although Jane said she had more material available. It was time to turn her. The situation was somewhat frustrating, since I’d looked forward to some good material in changing the past from the present; I hadn’t wanted the question to be forgotten.

(Maybe more on it tomorrow, Jane said at last. Karina had definitely been a bother this afternoon, and she was still calling out, her voice hoarse and much weaker. I told Jane I thought she sounded like she was reliving a reversion to her childhood. The staff people had tried to calm her down at various times, to no avail. Jane said their actions made her feel bad, because it reminded her of when she’d had her own panic feelings, and people had tried to calm her down in her early days in the hospital. Now, Jane said “cancel” to herself after she’d told me her feelings.)