“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Finally, though the editor was for the book, his publisher turned it down. I was really disappointed at losing the sale. As a result, I played around with the idea of publishing some of Seth’s ideas as my own and hiding their origin. This seemed dishonest, though, and I decided against it. Besides, I felt that the very fact of the sessions was psychologically fascinating, and brought up questions that were answered in the material itself. So I sent my eight chapters somewhere else, stopped work on the book for nearly a year, and devoted my working time to short stories which were published in various national magazines.

“No, of course not,” I said. “But it sure would be a great help if he was.” Just the same, I went into another slump. I still wasn’t at all sure that I believed in the survival of personality after death, and if we didn’t survive, then from whom was I getting these messages? My subconscious? While I used that explanation as a handy whipping boy at times, I didn’t really believe that either: my subconscious was getting enough expression in my short stories and poetry—and without adopting other personality characteristics. A secondary personality? Perhaps, but Seth didn’t fit the picture of any of the case histories we’d read—and neither did I.

We drove up past the stately university buildings. How neat and orderly! If only life were that neat, I thought. Rob was still trying to comfort me when we arrived at Dr. Instream’s office. Was I really one of those talkative domineering women who used any kind of trick to control their husbands? I looked over at Rob. He stood there, quiet but assured, “cool” versus my “hot”—my idea of a man. Usually I’m talkative. Now I shut up and let Rob do the talking—or tried to let him.