“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(From my own notes: I got there at 1:05 on a cold and rainy afternoon. I found Jane quite upset as she lay nude on her left side. Dr. Gibson and the head nurse, Mary, had been in to 330 to look at Jane’s knee. “I hear from people that your knee has been bothering you,” the doctor had said. “No,” Jane replied, “it hasn’t.” Dr. G looked at it, remarked that she had a large ulcer on the knee, and quickly left with Mary before Jane was quick enough to ask him what he was talking to the nurse about. Jane immediately feared the worst: that Dr. G was going to want to operate upon, or lance, the knee, or something like that.

(I told Jane she could very well be projecting her own fears upon something that wasn’t that bad at all—that the episode instead served to show what a deep hold old beliefs still had on her. That, as Seth has remarked, the conscious mind must learn to rid itself of fear. She’d projected a lot of negative feelings upon the doctor, whom she likes, even to the point of tears. “And just when I was doing so well last night and today,” she said, as I made ready to turn her on her back.

(Jane had had Darvoset early this morning. I should note that yesterday she had no Darvoset at all while I was with her—a space of many hours. That in itself is a great sign, I told her. When Judy, the RN, brought the lunch tray this noon, and replaced a couple of dressings, we asked her to contact Mary and find out exactly what Mary and Dr. G had talked about, re Jane’s treatment. When she returned Judy told us that Dr. G had written an order for a different ointment than Silvadene to be used on the knee ulcer; the new ointment would help debride the wound and promote faster healing.

(And so Jane learned that her fears had been for little or nothing. No operation or lancing was projected. I emphasized to my wife the role belief could play in her reactions. Above all I wanted her to retrain her conscious mind so that such fears would be banished.

(After lunch—Jane ate very well—I told her about my vivid little dream of last night. In color: I’d looked out the south window of the bedroom to see Fred Kardon standing out on the lawn; he was talking to someone else who was doing some kind of work near the big pine tree that grows up over the corner of the house. Not on the tree itself. Perhaps some digging in the ground. Fred wore old work clothes—jeans and a sweat shirt, I think—and I could hear his voice clearly as he talked to the other person. I wasn’t sure of my interpretation of the dream, except that it must involve a reappraisal on my part of Fred’s role in society. “For all I know,” I told Jane, “the other guy could have been me.”

(“Whom was he talking to outside the window?”)

He was talking to a portion of yourself—

(4:11. Jane had a cigarette. She moved her arms, hands, and shoulders very rapidly. She said she was also able to do so this morning. I said that the fact that she was keeping her gains of each day was the important thing. Resume at 4:23.)