“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Sometimes I wonder if I’m supposed to work on Dreams these days at all—whether it may not be a project whose time is not yet for either Jane or me. Today I speculated about just laying the book aside for six months or a year while we get other things straightened out. I got so tired wondering about it all that I napped for 20 minutes before supper—all I could salvage out of the usual hour’s naptime.

(Jane continues to have accelerated movement in her knees—a very encouraging sign. The night before last, for the first time, she slept practically the whole night lying on her left side—a feat she’s been unable to accomplish for perhaps years. This rests both her back and buttocks. She’s been more and more relaxed lately, and for hours at a time. She often sleeps in her chair.

(9:23. Jane sat dozing so long I didn’t know whether it was a pause or the end of the session. Finally, when she reached for her glasses, I knew. I wished we’d had more material tonight. I suppose my upset showed. I could feel my stomach getting upset.

(9:35 PM. “I wanted all I could get so bad,” Jane gasped between breaths, “and I could feel myself lapsing.... I’d even caught myself lapsing; I was weary,” Jane said, laughing, that she’d be willing to sit there until 3 o’clock in the morning to get what she wanted in a session, but: “You’re not sitting on your ass until three o’clock in the morning,” I said. “Period.” Her decubiti were too bad for that to be allowed.

(I’d wanted material on the fascinating case of Fred Conyers, but had never hoped we’d get it. I also remembered Seth telling us some time ago not to call Jane’s condition arthritis. But then, I didn’t know what to call it any more, particularly when the hospital tests had pinpointed it as exactly that; the blood tests especially. Maybe we could go back to using the term “symptoms,” like we used to do.)