“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(No need to go into all the events that seemed to coalesce today—this morning especially, since it’s all on file. Suffice it to note that in the mail last night I found prescription drugs from Dr. Blount, to my complete amazement; I also found a letter from the Arthritis Foundation, in which Dr. MacDuffie expressed his complete opposition to Dr. Blount’s treatment for rheumatoid arthritis. Then this morning Dr. Tihansky called me from Schuylkill Haven, PA, to offer his sensible-seeming suggestions for Jane’s care. All of these events followed the barrage of letters I’ve been sending out, trying to unearth something, some treatment, some magical potion or truth or belief that would help my wife in her time of deep need. Even Frank Longwell called this morning, wanting to know if I’d heard from any doctors yet. Indeed. All of these events coming together within just a few hours was really more than a “coincidence,” I thought. I was certain of it. I related the whole business to Jane this afternoon after she’d finished lunch, and expressed my frank hope that “a certain party” might have some pertinent comments on the whole affair.

(I told Jane that the variety of opinions we’d received on the anti-amoebic treatment left us hanging in limbo as far as knowing what to do. I don’t think I have the nerve to give her prescription drugs on the sly, in the hospital, as Dr. Blount had suggested I do. I was still amazed at that, especially, I told Jane, when one considered all the ways by which a doctor could get in trouble by advocating such secret behavior. She agreed. This opinion of both of us, though, didn’t necessarily mean that we’d rejected totally the idea of toying with those drugs....

It is better, if possible, for Ruburt to be on his back, but this is adequate right now. The answers, as you know, do not lie in drugs, although some, like your aspirin, may be helpful at times because of your belief in their worth.

(“Shall I just forget about the drugs?”)

The idea of the drugs was helpful, in that it initiated the idea that improvement was possible. It served then a creative, beneficial capacity. That was the important issue, rearousing your own hope, so the affair was not for nothing.

(I explained to Jane how much I appreciated Seth’s insight about the drugs. Amazingly simple, and a truth we’ve been groping for, I said. It showed how much we were still prisoners of the system: a pill as a remedy.... At the same time, I’d been talking earlier in the day about how any real way out of our dilemma had to come from within. Now it was obvious that the involved, even torturous journey involving drugs was a way of arriving at that simple yet profound inner truth. All we had to do was to see it.