“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(“It’s hard to be sure,” she said, “but I think from the time I was in the hospital [last February].” Into the future, in other words.

(“If I can. Do the dishes and check the mail, then I’ll try.... I’m awful glad I said something about them,” she added, “but when I do the feelings start to come up also....” Jane’s voice trembled. She’s remarked before that it’s very hard for her to talk about the feelings when they begin to reveal themselves to her consciously.

(I repeated that she should have told me when the feelings began—not three hours later. “But it’s good that they’re there,” I said. “It means you’re expressing them, even if they are unpleasant. If you weren’t they’d still be buried.”

(“My most hopeful feeling is that when you give it all up the panic comes up again, and then you’re making progress. But it still seems like you can only stand so much: two people in a household,” she said cryptically. Meaning what? I wondered.

(“I have no idea. If I could just put my head down and relax I’d be so relieved—then maybe I’d switch over to a session.” Her forehead nearly rested upon the tabletop. “I guess after the session last night I got more frightened. I had a hell of a time last night—I went into dream states and hallucinations the whole night. When you came in [at 1:15 AM] I wanted to get up, but I believed what you said, that I had to get off my ass for a while.... I started talking to the people giving the news on TV [channel 13], and Chris’s mother [whom Jane has never met; Chris Hover cleans the house every other Sunday], and to you and other people. But I always feel their presences, as if they’re really there....”

(2:26. We took her into the commode, but she wouldn’t lie down after going to the john. I had her back in the living room, at the dining room table, within 10 minutes. She dozed, her lowered forehead nearly resting on her hands clasped on the table top. “I’m all right,” she said.