“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(As usual, I said a lot of things in the short time we talked before company arrived. That she was again telling me that she was getting better when I could see that she was getting worse. Even Seth did this. The same old story, I remarked. I added that I no longer believed the later sessions, in which Seth had talked about her getting better by the holidays this year, or her having turned a corner in probabilities. How could any of that be true? I had a million questions, and felt almost totally frustrated trying to get answers. Why, Jane, why? Again and again, I thought of resistance, of the sinful self putting up roadblocks, no matter what the consequences. And it seemed to me that certain parts of her personality were quite ready to continue such behavior until death—the final end, the dissolution in which host and ailments disappeared together, and all conflict was resolved. Was this to be the “redemption” Seth had talked about a couple of years ago, and that I’d tried to deal with in the intro for Dreams? I thought it likely. I told Jane I wouldn’t be surprised to walk into the bedroom some day and discover that she had simply died during the night, so resolving her challenges. An understandable-enough resolution, I said, and one I couldn’t argue with basically, since such a course could logically be the one chosen by some personalities—but it was also one that I didn’t choose at this time.

(“Well. I guess that’s the way it’s going to end, then,” I said, meaning that the sessions would just peter out or dwindle away in generalizations. I’d been aware of this possibility for some time, and wasn’t surprised that the time had come. Not a word from Seth about why she’s been so miserable for the past five days, or why her decubiti are worse, or my suggestion that she go back into the hospital, or the role the sinful self plays in all of this. The list is endless. Then Seth returned as I finished this note.