“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I think my wife is in bad shape. I note this aside from whatever changes may be taking place in her, as Seth has repeatedly maintained recently. Jane has slept just about all of each day, sitting in her chair, since the last failed session. Last night she was in agony in bed—all night. Our sleep has been very irregular. “Bob. I’m so scared,” she said to me at 6:30 this morning when I went in to get her up. I was filled with impotent rage at the turn events have taken for us, but said little. Her bedsores are worse daily. She’s refused naps in the afternoons, to give them a little rest. Hallucination has also been involved during the daylight hours—or at least disorientation.

(I got a horrified reaction from Jane in the bedroom this morning when I’d mentioned the hospital to her, and that I was reaching a turning point in my struggles to care for her myself. Seth had recently said the hospital experience had been a traumatic one for Jane—so why was she doing again the very things that could lead to a return to that situation? Once again, a mindless resistance seemed to be the answer, at least from my standpoint. “Once again,” I said, “whatever it is, I know you’ll accept it, since it’s the reality you’re creating. And once again, I’m the one who’s pushing you to use your own abilities to save yourself, meaning at least trying to learn what’s going on through the sessions, for example. You should be telling me what to do—not the other way around.... But it’s impossible for one person to save another if they don’t want it that way.”

(I have no ideas at all as to the moving-back-to-Sayre business goes. Whatever we do, it will be together, regardless of Jane’s fears of abandonment. I am as committed to her as I am to breathing, and whatever we do comes after that. I’ll let it all rest in Framework 2 from now on. This is the course I-we should have followed all along. Good luck, kids—you’ll need it.)