“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Yesterday, Jane wrote for me, at my request, a few lines about Seth’s remark in last Saturday’s session, to the effect that she’s been picking up some unusual versions of perception lately. The original is attached to this session: “I’ve experienced odd perceptions in relaxed states,” Jane wrote. “They involve what I’ll call innocent perceptions, to show their lack of sophistication. They involve the spontaneous combination of living objects and nonliving ones into curious juxtapositions. For example, I’ll see Rob’s head, with our floor-stand world globe growing out of it into a new kind of object.... which I’ll momentarily accept. I can disentangle these, and often several are included.”

(At about 4 PM I quit work, and began to prepare for my nap. I wanted Jane to lie down also, since she’d sat in her chair since about 7:30 this morning. She hadn’t even gone to the john—the same behavior she showed last Saturday, when a session had been held that night. Now Jane told me however, that she was feeling “panicky.” She’d been dozing in the chair and woke up feeling that way. It got worse. I could see that she had no intention of lying down. “God, I’m scared,” she said several times, but couldn’t say why she felt that way, at first. Then she said she thought her fright was connected to her fear of abandonment as a child—and that she would finally make life so miserable for me that I’d leave her.

(By 9:30 I couldn’t believe it: We weren’t going to have a session after all—and just when we needed one most. Jane alternated between rather quick changes in waking and sleeping in her chair. I lost patience after a while, mostly due to sheer frustration, I suppose. She was somewhat disoriented: “Just read me last night’s session,” she said. But we’d had no session last night, Monday. We hadn’t had one since last Saturday, October 30—four days ago.