“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(After supper last night Jane and I had one of our discussions that left us feeling out-of-sorts—half angry and resentful, accusatory and regretful that we hadn’t done better in the past. No need to go into details here, but it ended up with Jane asking me to get the notebook of sinful-self material. By then it was 9:00 PM, but she read a lot of it and said she was picking up some valuable insights.

Last night, at Rob’s suggestion, I looked over my notebook of sinful-self stuff with related material, hoping of course that it might trigger some important impetus or clue that would give me insight into my own position.

(9:29.) It made good sense enough to take the artificial thyroid that my body obviously was demanding. To introduce an entirely new line of drugs, with known side effects, for a condition that could be quite transitory—if I had it —went against everything that I believed. So Dr. Kardon’s visit was behind Robby’s suggestion that I look at my own sinful-self material, and I intuitively felt that the time was probably right. I browsed through one notebook, is what it amounted to.

One line I’d forgotten put the situation rather clearly, though: I was afraid that Seth’s work and my own might have some fatal flaw to which I was blind, so that I suppose by trusting the inner self and individual inspiration, I might actually also be opening up that horrendous Pandora’s box.

I plan of course to work with the rest of that sinful-self material. I do feel a sense of release. If I ever thought that the methods and exercises needed were too difficult, then I have to admit that when you put those simple requirements against the appalling time and energy needed to follow medical procedure, there certainly is little comparison.