“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

That position had so many facets that it was hard to follow—that they were hard to follow—and even I had difficulty keeping track of the continuing saga of medical detail. Doctor Kardon had come that afternoon. I told myself I’d react only to constructive suggestions, but I soon felt knocked down by her interpretation of events. No blood test results had really come through yet (from St. Joe’s last week). She had said earlier they would merely give indications that vasculitis might be present or might not be present—they wouldn’t say yes or no.

(9:29.) It made good sense enough to take the artificial thyroid that my body obviously was demanding. To introduce an entirely new line of drugs, with known side effects, for a condition that could be quite transitory—if I had it —went against everything that I believed. So Dr. Kardon’s visit was behind Robby’s suggestion that I look at my own sinful-self material, and I intuitively felt that the time was probably right. I browsed through one notebook, is what it amounted to.

The medical tests along the way proved that I did not have some of those most frightening conditions. Other tests that I recall made it clear that my heart and liver and internal organs were in good shape—but Doctor Kardon had seen them newly threatened by the vasculitis, and I felt, “My God, what a merry-go-round of disastrous expectations must everywhere color the medical profession and its practitioners and patients.”

(The session itself contains many references to Dr. Kardon’s visit yesterday, but below is a copy of the notes I made after she left the house. I recommend that Jane not read these. They’re included here simply for the record.