“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(She had a very restless night and called me several times. One time, at about 4:00 AM, her legs were very restless, so she got back up in her chair. I was groggy, but asked her to tell me what she meant when she said she’d come up with some good insights from the evening before. What she explained to me in briefer form is related below. I think it’s very good material, and will prove to be very helpful. Her legs, especially the left one, had bothered her considerably, and led to her getting up. I mentioned at the time that maybe she could do some dictation this morning about her new insights, and this session is the result.

But in any case she decided that I had it, and since I had already shown some evidence in my body, the next thing was how to treat it. Even discounting for the present the more tricky drugs, drugs with many side effects, quite severe sometimes, there was a drug less dangerous. Its side effect had something to do with preventing the blood from clotting so easily in the capillaries, I think. (Persantine.) The more dangerous ones, for God’s sake, turned down the body’s own defense mechanisms and immunity, an effect that really seemed absolutely senseless to me.

Yet I felt that they had patterned my life and behavior for some years, culminating in the physical situation. Actually, I’d explained them very well in God of Jane. They had to do with my religious upbringing, my joy and appreciation of my creative abilities, and my fear of using them at the same time, lest they lead me astray—or lead my followers astray.

I plan of course to work with the rest of that sinful-self material. I do feel a sense of release. If I ever thought that the methods and exercises needed were too difficult, then I have to admit that when you put those simple requirements against the appalling time and energy needed to follow medical procedure, there certainly is little comparison.

I do know that the ideas we have developed are far more desperately needed in the world today than I’d realized (with a laugh). That realization alone is highly vital to my well-being.

I guess I feel now that anything that one can do to better the situation in the world is bound to help, where before I wanted everything completed ahead of time in some fashion. So I do feel a new kind of inner motion, and of course I’m grateful to Rob for writing these notes down for me.

(“Dr. K. visited at 1:30 PM. Explained the dangers of vasculitis to Jane—possible damage to internal organs—start treatment before that happens, if necessary. Jane’s finger looked better. [No results in yet of blood tests taken a week ago at St. Joe’s. Tests sent to Rochester.] Jane got more and more depressed and scared as Dr. K. talked, I could see it, in spite of suggestions we’d agreed on before her visit. Toes look okay. It seems that we may have to just get away from doctors and their suggestions as much as possible. Dr. K. wants Dr. Sobel from Ithaca to examine Jane Friday even if blood tests aren’t in yet: “I can give him the results over the phone later.” I wanted to postpone visit to emergency room “till test results were in,” but Dr. S. won’t be at St. Joe’s next week. Peggy Jowett came as Dr. K. left. I helped her put Jane on the waterbed. Jane had cried a bit after Dr. K. left and before Peggy came in, and I’d tried to console her. Now Jane burst into tears on the waterbed: “I wish we’d tried harder with our own suggestions and ideas....” Crying didn’t last. Dr. K. said Jane could take a couple of aspirin if necessary in the middle of the night. I told Jane we could still use our own ideas. I also wondered—but didn’t say so—why those ideas had allowed the whole question of something like vasculitis to develop to begin with—or, for that matter, the “arthritis.” Jane also cried on the waterbed that now “it would be harder to do anything on our own, because we had to deal with the medical establishment too,” as well as our own beliefs. Dr. K. told us Jane wouldn’t feel any results from the 100 mcg Synthroid tablets she started on last Monday for a long time—that the effects from the increased dosage were “weeks away.” I wondered if this was a contradiction, because on the phone last month, Dr. K. had said Jane’s thyroid function was almost up to par from the medication she had been taking, meaning that it had acted quicker than “weeks away.”....)