“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I made only one false turn driving to the emergency room at St. Joe’s, since we’d never been there before, but found the entrance easily. A hefty security guard lifted Jane out of the car into a wheelchair. They were waiting for us in the emergency room. While someone took Jane up to her room, #456—in pediatrics, by the way —I found my way to admissions, after getting lost in the hallways once. Since Jane still wasn’t covered by insurance, I could get her only a semiprivate room. The black girl at the typewriter had the papers all made out, from the information Dr K. had given last February when she’d talked of transferring Jane from the Arnot.

(Dr K., being still concerned about Jane’s finger—which had improved somewhat, but was still markedly bluish in cast—decided to prescribe a drug to dilute the clotting ability of blood somewhat: Persantine, in tiny pill-like form, to be taken three times a day. Dr. K. said this treatment had to be balanced against the added risk of infection of Jane’s one open bedsore on her coccyx, for the Persantine reduced the body’s ability to fight infection to some degree. This at once set up barriers in our thinking, but especially in Jane’s. Jane had also learned that everyone at the hospital was against her smoking, and had been told that nicotine helped restrict the blood flow in the tiny capillaries. In other words, one would be better off not smoking. When Jane said that Dr. K had said her lungs were okay while she was at the Arnot, Dr K. defended that analysis by reminding Jane that she’d said her heart was good, but that through the stethoscope she’d heard various “wheezings and gurglings” in Jane’s lungs. Not that the lungs didn’t look okay via X-rays.

I guess I think that all disease, to one extent or another, anyway, is fear (pause), and I felt a few minutes ago my neck doing some odd things. And I don’t know what these are. But I felt tubes coming down my neck where they’d been so rigid that they bent where they shouldn’t, and the blood flow wasn’t as good in those bends. And I visually and mentally saw the one in the back side of my neck that went down my neck and shoulder relax and straighten out, so that the blood began to go down easier and quicker. And I felt the same thing happening down toward the arms, and that there was one long tube in particular in my left arm that had been bent and twisted, like a portion of a rubber hose —and that also had to do with the release of wrist and elbow motion, and that that was releasing, getting straighter and unbending.

But at different time as it did so it would kink up in one corner and then another, and that that would cause a temporary impairment, such as happened in this one finger.

(Long pause at 9:20.) I’d just as soon wait a minute, to see if that’s it for the night, or more develops, or what—but the feeling does tell me that things can and will work out as long as you realize that this is true. And that once you realize this is true, nothing can stop things from working out well. Rob said something earlier tonight about the letter from John Nelson seeming to be a good sign—and it is a sign, and a potent one, and I feel that Rob’s working on Seth’s book, and my own writing and my own bodily behavior are supported, again, by that great motion, which moves us in the proper directions for us. Now I’d like to relax or wait a minute or something, I don’t know.