“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I called the doctor not long after Peggy left. Dr. K. said, “I think I’d better take a look at that.” She’d been out of her office, but returned my call to her nurse almost at once. She was at the house by 6 PM, examined the finger and gave Jane a quick general checkup. She talked about a possible blood clot, “other causes,” and mentioned vasculitis, a condition that results in restricted capillary blood flow to the extremities, and can accompany arthritis. She’d suspected vasculitis when Jane had been first admitted to Arnot Ogden early in February, but tests had ruled it out. Dr. K. went home to call Dr. Sobel in Ithaca, and Dr. Wilwerth at St. Joe’s. The former is a rheumatologist who examined Jane at the Arnot, the latter is a specialist in circulatory matters. She soon called to say that Dr. Sobel was out of town for at least a week, and that Dr. W. didn’t think a clot was involved from the description she’d given him.

(The finger was turning darker, though. Massaging Jane’s lower arm helped. “If you were anyone else I’d have you at the emergency room at St. Joe’s for more blood tests,” Dr. K had told Jane at the house. She was obviously concerned, as were we. On her call, we asked her what she’d do on her own. She suggested we go to the emergency room for blood tests, and we agreed. A few minutes later, as I was hurriedly throwing a few things into a bag, Dr. K. called again, to say that we could save the emergency room fee if she had Jane admitted directly into a room. We agreed. Jane cried briefly. I turned the car around in the driveway, wheeled her out in her office chair, and managed to get her up onto the front seat, awkwardly and with discomfort. I’d called the Bumbalos, our neighbors across the street, for help, but they were away.

(Early the next morning Jane had more blood taken for more tests. Dr K. saw her, and Dr. Wilwerth, who stayed only a few minutes and didn’t think a clot was involved. Dr. K. was fairly sure it was vasculitis, “which never gets better,” etc., from her point of view. Jane still felt the finger’s condition was the result of other muscular events in her body. When we’d described those to Dr. K. at the house her reaction had been “Do you mean cramps?” —meaning that she saw nothing positive or healing in all of that muscular activity, only something meaning more trouble. We’ve learned that Dr. K. is an extremely conscientious person, but our way of thinking is quite outside of hers. The nurses told us she’d called several times the night Jane was admitted, and that she had the reputation of being very caring and conscientious—qualities we can certainly admire and respect.

Right now, I feel you and I and the house and the whole bit supported by some great force that swirls around the house and the trees and through my body, so that it circulates through my blood. And I really feel that according to whatever terms we want to use, this is God’s great motion, moving and supporting me. Just as it moves and supports all of the earth. But I could sense that motion, and can now, rather than just intellectually say the words.

(Long pause at 9:10.) But that our fears lead us, so that at times we’re almost bound to interpret such events as life-threatening, and that’s why we called the doctor, of course. (Long pause.) Right now I still have the feeling of that force or motion, though, and emotionally I do identify with it. I feel supported in that manner. I feel Robby and the house and our entire existences supported in the same way—and this, I know, is part of the magical feeling that Seth talks about. Right now I’m certainly grateful for it.