“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(The finger was turning darker, though. Massaging Jane’s lower arm helped. “If you were anyone else I’d have you at the emergency room at St. Joe’s for more blood tests,” Dr. K had told Jane at the house. She was obviously concerned, as were we. On her call, we asked her what she’d do on her own. She suggested we go to the emergency room for blood tests, and we agreed. A few minutes later, as I was hurriedly throwing a few things into a bag, Dr. K. called again, to say that we could save the emergency room fee if she had Jane admitted directly into a room. We agreed. Jane cried briefly. I turned the car around in the driveway, wheeled her out in her office chair, and managed to get her up onto the front seat, awkwardly and with discomfort. I’d called the Bumbalos, our neighbors across the street, for help, but they were away.

(Early the next morning Jane had more blood taken for more tests. Dr K. saw her, and Dr. Wilwerth, who stayed only a few minutes and didn’t think a clot was involved. Dr. K. was fairly sure it was vasculitis, “which never gets better,” etc., from her point of view. Jane still felt the finger’s condition was the result of other muscular events in her body. When we’d described those to Dr. K. at the house her reaction had been “Do you mean cramps?” —meaning that she saw nothing positive or healing in all of that muscular activity, only something meaning more trouble. We’ve learned that Dr. K. is an extremely conscientious person, but our way of thinking is quite outside of hers. The nurses told us she’d called several times the night Jane was admitted, and that she had the reputation of being very caring and conscientious—qualities we can certainly admire and respect.

(As of now her finger is maintaining its somewhat improved look, but it’s obviously not cleared up. The blueness seems to vary in intensity, but never leaves entirely. We’re hoping the tests do not show that vasculitis is involved. I suggested to Jane that she cut her cigarette consumption in half, but she refused, even if this would be a form of natural therapy.

(Tonight’s session started later than usual because of a mix-up in communications between us: I thought Jane was too groggy after supper as she sat at the card table in the living room, so I went to my room to work on the intro for Dreams—whereas she was waiting for me to come out and sit with her to see if we’d have some sort of session. Her impression was that we’d do this each night, so I must be wrong here. On Friday after she came home I’d said it was vital that we have sessions in order to try to find out just what events had triggered the whole event of her latest illness from the very beginning. I’d added that if we didn’t learn to think positively and have faith—even blind faith—we’d be truly lost. It’s the only way we’ll ever get rid of the medical establishment, I believe. She agrees. But I really wanted to know what had set things off. I still think Janet’s troubles are rooted in resistance, I said, massive resistance, and that the latest rounds were triggered by the publication last year of God of Jane and Mass Events. I was hoping for something on all of this, this evening.

I guess I think that all disease, to one extent or another, anyway, is fear (pause), and I felt a few minutes ago my neck doing some odd things. And I don’t know what these are. But I felt tubes coming down my neck where they’d been so rigid that they bent where they shouldn’t, and the blood flow wasn’t as good in those bends. And I visually and mentally saw the one in the back side of my neck that went down my neck and shoulder relax and straighten out, so that the blood began to go down easier and quicker. And I felt the same thing happening down toward the arms, and that there was one long tube in particular in my left arm that had been bent and twisted, like a portion of a rubber hose —and that also had to do with the release of wrist and elbow motion, and that that was releasing, getting straighter and unbending.

(Long pause at 9:10.) But that our fears lead us, so that at times we’re almost bound to interpret such events as life-threatening, and that’s why we called the doctor, of course. (Long pause.) Right now I still have the feeling of that force or motion, though, and emotionally I do identify with it. I feel supported in that manner. I feel Robby and the house and our entire existences supported in the same way—and this, I know, is part of the magical feeling that Seth talks about. Right now I’m certainly grateful for it.

I do feel there is definitely increased important mobility in my wrists, and in the elbows, and again this is achieved somehow, and knots become unwound. There are also lesser temporary kinks caused as the tubes—whatever they are—unknot and straighten out.