“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

In one way or another the material has indeed been given in our deleted books—but the organization of that material has often followed instead the situation that was at hand at any given time. (Long pause.) The panic Ruburt senses is of course the feeling that is behind all of his symptoms—and you must remember as we continue that such situations are not unusual in your world. Ruburt is not dumber than most people, for example.

The nuances of such a statement as I have just made are many. For now, however, I simply want to make the point that additional stress was added to the situation. A struggle for survival, it seemed, came more immediately closer, particularly in the light of the hospital situation. After his return home, the sinful self was threatened even further, it felt.

The term itself is probably not a good one, though it is of course highly descriptive. The panic has to do with many issues involving Ruburt’s earlier experience, particularly with his mother and the church when he was a very young person, very determined to survive in life, and trying to learn what kinds of behavior added to or threatened that survival.

Some of this will appear quite clearly later, that is, certainly Ruburt felt (underlined) at times that his mother hated him. When Ruburt fell in love with you, his vigor, strength, and expression rose to the surface. He needed love’s expression on your part, and he spontaneously expressed his own love for you in words and action.