“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(During the visit, after he examined the finger, Dr. S. seemed to me at least a bit surprised that Dr. Wilworth had ruled out the possibility of a blood clot; because of its sudden onset I gathered Dr. S. thought this was a possibility. He described an angiogram to us, an out-patient sterile procedure in which a dye is fed into the circulatory system then traced via X-ray to see where blockages might have occurred in the finger. He also described how a catheter could be inserted into a vein in the arm and snaked back to the heart—again painlessly—to see if and where clots could have originated. Jane evidently listened to all of this with horror. Dr. S. also described a couple of drugs—penicillin being one—that was used to reduce the clotting ability of the blood—and also reduced the body’s natural defenses.

(I also knew she hadn’t wanted to keep the appointment, and that she blamed me at least partly for her keeping it. At the same time she said she wanted to talk to an “expert” on arthritis. I felt caught between these opposing ideas, and didn’t really know what to do. I figured there were reasons for the finger thing erupting so suddenly to begin with, and leading us against our conscious wills into the whole hospital scene at St. Joe’s, so whatever lessons there are in those experiences are still being assimilated. It wasn’t until we returned home Friday afternoon that I began to see how upset Jane had become by thoughts of arthritis, vasculitis, angiograms, clots, drugs, operations, etc. I kept thinking that she was on her way to adopting a stance in which she would turn against medical help and/or advice if at all possible.

(Jane has been sleeping poorly, lying down for a couple of hours at a time at the most for the last several nights. This morning she did surprise me—and herself—by sleeping until noon, probably out of exhaustion. No nurse visited Monday. We’re on a three-times-a-week schedule now, which will very soon be cut to twice a week. Peggy Jowett is on vacation for a couple of weeks, and we don’t know who will be showing up today.