“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I’m sure my improved attitude resulted from the last two sessions—plus other recent ones—but I have resolved anew that I must simply concentrate upon my creative work each day, see Jane and help her as much as I can, and spare my body consciousness the needless stress of worrying about the future. I must let the rest of the world go its own way. This doesn’t mean that I make believe we have no challenges, but that I for one refuse to dwell upon them, so as to not draw forth unwanted probabilities. I have also renewed my faith and expectations that Jane and I will get what we want. When I find myself beginning to worry about some hassle, I deliberately turn my mind away. It’s ultimately the only way I can function creatively on a day-by-day basis. Knowing that relieves me of spending my valuable time in adversarial positions and activities. This all means, obviously, that we do need help from others—whether they be lawyers, doctors, nurses, publishers, or whatever, and this way we stay in contact with the rest of our world.

(I wrote the above material after Jane had lunch, and read it to her at once. She had a good night and morning, with some new motions in hydro. When I got to 330 she was having spasms in her inner thigh and buttock muscles—those areas I’d noticed being so tight yesterday. They often happen when she moves her left arm, she said—the two sort of working in tandem. I said it seems the legs are on their way to clearing themselves more—that the jerky motions result from unused muscles trying to get back into the rhythm of everyday motion. I asked Jane to be sure to not inhibit or turn off the spasms, or tighten up out of fear that something was wrong.

(3:05. Jane began reading yesterday’s session—doing much better than she had yesterday. She held the papers easily enough in her left hand, as usual these days. She was through with the session in 15 minutes.

(3:45. “It’s me.” Jane was bothered by leg and bladder spasms at the same time. She said her legs worked well in hydro this morning.

(Not long after the session was over I told Jane I meant to ask Seth to comment on the vivid dream I’d had last night about the Gallaghers and an unkempt young man who was living with them. I’d described it to Jane earlier. Suffice it to note that I saw Peg and Bill living in squalor in a crude house on a barge or houseboat, with dirt floors, old furniture, and so forth. I’d surmised that their living conditions, in spite of the money they’d earned all their lives, represented their poor belief systems. And that, maybe, the young man they’d taken in represented me as I’d used to be, or a perpetuation of their belief systems into later generations.

(Jane said that maybe Seth would return later and talk about the dream, but this didn’t happen.

(3:50. I began reading older sessions to her. Jane’s leg spasms were frequent. She said she’s had more impulses to sit up on the side of the bed in recent days, since Seth first discussed that impulse on December 19.

(4:07. Jane wanted to do some head and neck motions, hoping they wouldn’t bother her legs.

(4:21. Jane had a cigarette. I dipped it for her. I checked her left index finger: It bent at the middle joint more than it had several weeks ago, when the first movement occurred. I read her some more sessions. She said that staff people commented again this morning on the way her ulcers are healing. The one on her left shoulder is filling in and healing, that bothers her so when she lies on her left side.

(4:45. Jane tried to turn over herself, but couldn’t quite make it. She’s tried to do so for me several times, without success so far, but has succeeded a few times in the mornings.

(Jean Reome called this afternoon, is anxious to get back to work; talked to Jane also. Margaret Bumbalo invited me over for supper, and I didn’t know whether to accept or not, since I wanted to be sure I got this session typed. But I went, and it was very enjoyable. Soon they’ll leave for Florida. Margaret said that when she looks at Jane now she sees something beside skin stretched over bone. “She’s got something there now—she’s even getting a pot.”

(It was raining, and just above freezing. I left at 7:09, after reading today’s session to Jane, and the prayer with her.)