“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(“That’s the system,” Connie Lido said when I told her Fred hadn’t told us he’d signed that form. Over in her office, Kim Evans said that the report on Jane noted that her joints were “frozen.” and I explained to her that that wasn’t the case at all—another instance of lack of communication. She also explained something to me about indigence—how, after a certain period of time Jane and I would be considered separate people so that she could qualify Medicaid payments, I believe—and that, even if they got after me to make up those payments, I could refuse to do so. This is certainly garbled—but she made some notes on it, and I’ll be giving them to Pete, or at least telling him about them when I call him in the morning.

(Jane wondered about getting Sue Watkins to type the Rembrandt book, without any notes at all. When I asked her why, she said to get money. I said that when we needed $15,000 a month, the book meant little. I didn’t mean to denigrate the value of the book, but it can’t help us much—no book can at this date. I’m not against someone else putting that book together for publication, providing someone wants it, and things may work out that way. At one time I thought of asking Tam if he’d do it. It’s another instance of having something there that I can’t seem to resolve—very frustrating.

(“I figure on calling Pete tomorrow morning and telling him about today’s events, but I don’t want to change probabilities by dwelling upon them. At the same time, I get angry when I think we’re being manipulated, and so forth. I feel a conflict there. I don’t want to change our present situation here in the hospital when we’re getting results, so I don’t really know what to do....”)

(5:03 PM. The session certainly did help like mad. I found it almost amazingly optimistic, compared to what we’d been doing today. It surely shows the way to go, if we want to be free, though at the same time we can’t divorce ourselves from daily life.