“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I also told Pete that Andy Fife had told me that Jane had been rejected by the other facilities in the area, because in their opinion she required too much personal care. This was news to Jane and me; I’d forgotten that Jean Sweeney-Dun had taken me around to those places months ago. Jane broke her leg after that. I’d thought A. Fife mistaken yesterday, but he’d repeated the same thing to Pete, and gave him file and form numbers.

(I also think Pete found out that Kathy Hagen is not the ultimate supervisor at Syracuse, as I’d thought from what Andy Fife said, but that she too has supervisors.

This repression does not only show itself in the physical world of behavior, but also acts within the interior world of the body itself, repressing those organs that lead to physical motion. Young people may even repress their own thought processes, since they fear their own inclinations, and are afraid to act upon their thoughts. To escape the conflict between thought and action, such young people may only allow their thoughts to stray in conventionalized standard directions.

(The session had run late. At 4:45, before I turned Jane on her side, Lynne came in to tell me I had a phone call at the nurse’s station. It was Catherine Murdock from social services. She said that next Tuesday at 1:00 PM one of the heads of placement at the Chemung County Infirmary a block away would be at 330 to interview Jane, with an assistant, and could I please be there too? I said sure. It seems that as a result of the call she’d received from Pete this morning, Mary Krebs had contacted the Infirmary. It seemed further that there might be a chance that a bed there was opening up. The thought was broached that Jane could be moved—nothing definite. This was the last thing I wanted to hear. Catherine said names could be moved up and down the Infirmary’s list—evidently Jane’s had been shifted several times when it was determined she was too ill to be moved. There was something about having a private nurse for 16 hours a day, if the staff there couldn’t take care of my wife. I said that was pointless and that we couldn’t afford it.

(I was already thinking that we didn’t want to move in any direction until the insurance matter was cleared up, lest it appear that we were running scared. If we moved now, I thought, we might end up stuck with a bill for $50,000, if the insurance refused to cover it under our old setup. I knew I’d be calling Pete first thing Monday to tell him about this. I also knew there were few private rooms in the Infirmary, and that if we lost our privacy it would interfere greatly with our work together—and that the creative work is as much a part of therapy as anything else. Why did this have to happen now? I wondered as I hung up, just when it seems we might get somewhere. But actually, this latest twist was a result of our trying to get somewhere, and might actually work to our benefit with the insurance company, once they were told that my wife couldn’t be moved. That was the message I want to get across to them, with Pete’s help.

(“I’m not moving anywhere,” Jane announced adamantly when I tried to explain about the call. And maybe that stand was a good one, I thought, since it was definite. Seth can comment. I told Jane I thought the whole thing was one more piece of the puzzle falling into place—that above all I didn’t want her to worry, to just forget it. “I’m not going anywhere,” she stated again.