“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I went to work on Dreams. Pete called at 10:30. He’s already talked to Andrew Fife and Mary Krebs, and visited the head of the local Blue Cross office, on the floor beneath his own office. He tried to contact Kathy Hagen in Syracuse, but she’s out for the day. Next he’s going to call Fred Kardon. All the activity made me feel good.

(I also told Pete that Andy Fife had told me that Jane had been rejected by the other facilities in the area, because in their opinion she required too much personal care. This was news to Jane and me; I’d forgotten that Jean Sweeney-Dun had taken me around to those places months ago. Jane broke her leg after that. I’d thought A. Fife mistaken yesterday, but he’d repeated the same thing to Pete, and gave him file and form numbers.

(“Anyhow,” Pete told me, “I know it may not be easy, but I want you and Jane to not worry. We’ve got to fight this thing, though. Their position is ridiculous.” He said this after A. Fife had outlined the situation, that Jane didn’t require hospitalization. Pete wants Fred K. to write a letter, or something like that.

(I also think Pete found out that Kathy Hagen is not the ultimate supervisor at Syracuse, as I’d thought from what Andy Fife said, but that she too has supervisors.

(Jane ate a good lunch and began reading yesterday’s session at 3:00. She was halting, but got through it pretty well, so overall she did okay, I told her. She said that when I came in this noon she didn’t ask me how I made out this morning because she was going to wait until after her lunch, in case I had bad news. I told her I felt quite cheered by the morning’s implications, and that we d take it from there as best we could.

(Jane also has gotten rid of the patch on the outside of her right knee. The ulcer that had formed there after she’d broken her right leg at the site has now closed itself over. It has a way to go before it’s called fully healed, but she’s made remarkable progress with it, I told her. The redness will fade and fresh normal skin will grow.

(4:10. Lynne took Jane’s blood pressure and pulse. Without our saying anything, she remarked on how well Jane’s ulcers were healing, and how much better she was. When people finally stopped coming in, Jane said she did want to have a session. Her Seth voice was quite good. The day was dry but overcast, and the light was already starting to wane.)

This repression does not only show itself in the physical world of behavior, but also acts within the interior world of the body itself, repressing those organs that lead to physical motion. Young people may even repress their own thought processes, since they fear their own inclinations, and are afraid to act upon their thoughts. To escape the conflict between thought and action, such young people may only allow their thoughts to stray in conventionalized standard directions.

(4:35.) Truly great artistic, creative, athletic and social abilities are inherent within each human individual. Each person has the capacity, then, to be a genius on many levels. (Long pause.) These abilities may largely lay latent now—but they are nevertheless part of the human heritage.

I may or may not return, according to those rhythms of which I speak—but again, know that I am present and approachable.

(I didn’t have time to go into it today, but Seth’s material reminded me anew that I know my own mother had managed to make me afraid of certain areas of life—that as I grew up, then left home and had to manipulate in the world, I became quite aware that I’d acquired certain fears or inhibitions. It’s a long story and I don’t intend to go into it here; I just wanted to insert this note as a reminder.

(I was already thinking that we didn’t want to move in any direction until the insurance matter was cleared up, lest it appear that we were running scared. If we moved now, I thought, we might end up stuck with a bill for $50,000, if the insurance refused to cover it under our old setup. I knew I’d be calling Pete first thing Monday to tell him about this. I also knew there were few private rooms in the Infirmary, and that if we lost our privacy it would interfere greatly with our work together—and that the creative work is as much a part of therapy as anything else. Why did this have to happen now? I wondered as I hung up, just when it seems we might get somewhere. But actually, this latest twist was a result of our trying to get somewhere, and might actually work to our benefit with the insurance company, once they were told that my wife couldn’t be moved. That was the message I want to get across to them, with Pete’s help.