“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(After In Search Of ended on TV at 2:30 Jane read the draft of my note for session 896 for Dreams, in which I wanted to know whether she’d ever willed herself sick [as I had] when a youngster, in order to avoid something I wanted to get out of doing. She said she had, and gave me the infomation I needed to complete the note tomorrow morning.

(And Jane, now I’ll tell you that as you had a crying spell last night—so have I at various times since you went into the hospital last April. I remember that once I woke up in bed, after midnight, and burst into tears as I thought about you. The spell must have lasted for at least half an hour; it went on and on. Other times I would suddenly begin crying as I ate breakfast, or heard a familiar song on television, or sat at my typewriter working on Dreams. I always knew that these episodes were therapeutic. They began to taper off after you resumed the sessions in early October, and I haven’t had one now—not outright crying—for several weeks. But for a long time—months—I lived with tears just beneath the surface, you might say, as I wondered what was going to happen to us, why you were so sick, what we’d done wrong all those years, and so forth. I learned to live with those feelings, but it was a different kind of life than I’d ever known. For a long while I was resigned to them.