“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(1:30. Jane ate very well. An hour later I called Andrew Fife in billing; he was out for 15 minutes, and would call back, a girl said. I started my daily notes. When Andrew called I went to see him, showing him the two latest communications from Blue Cross, with the new claim numbers for Jane’s account; he copied them, and reiterated that the company was stalling: “It helps their cash flow, but it doesn’t do anything for ours.” A lot of money is involved—millions of dollars, upon which Blue Cross can collect extra interest by postponing their payments to clients, he said.

(Long pause at 4:28.) A strain develops in the personality as it tries to be faithful to its own private picture of reality, even while it tries to obediently conform to the publicly accepted picture. Dissatisfactions and illnesses then often result as the personality tries to go in two directions at once, and to please both the private and the public parts of its experience. In many cases people forget (long pause) their native, natural method of seeing themselves and the world, and turn outward to the stylized version—and in so doing they lose sight of vital portions of their own identities.