“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I awakened toward morning with my body quite sore and with the memory of an earlier dream scene. I had come into a room to find some kind of religious talk going on, people in folding chairs; I’m rather surprised. I’m obviously interrupting so I sit down gingerly till the affair is over. Later a woman puts me in charge of cleaning up the silverware—perhaps used for refreshments at the meeting. I tell the “help” that this isn’t my cup of tea, they will have to help; at the same time I discover that this isn’t the best silver as I’d thought but serviceable enough stuff. I don’t think the good silver had been used. My body hurt from polishing the stuff....

The dream comes to mind several times but don’t type it up till the weekend. I did jot it down immediately though, feeling that it was significant. There was a feeling of disappointment connected and I’d say that it represents some feelings about my abilities—I thought they were sterling—really terrific—and wore myself out caring for them, but I fear that they are only very good serviceable ones after all, their earlier promise not proving true.... or that my over-care of them has turned them into functional serviceable tools.... implements for nourishment rather than the elegant more artistic connections of sterling silver—which is itself beautiful while also serving a function.... The earlier religious scene suggests that I was appalled to find my abilities leading me anywhere within the realm of religious ideas at all to start with. By being so careful with the abilities—actually because I valued them, I end up being their servant, but actually end up using my abilities at the service of others—to help save the world, solve problems, etc.... gain being overly concerned with their utility....