1 result for (book:tps6 AND heading:"jane s note march 16 1981" AND stemmed:nightmarish)
[... 2 paragraphs ...]
The first was Saturday night, March 14: We’d watched The Gangster Chronicles on TV that evening, about the Mafia. The experience seemed to last all night gradually deepening in intensity, without overt dramatic story line — there was material on the Mafia in its relationship to family and particularly in connection with women—this seemed to be the focus point. I guess the idea was that males operate as a Mafia regardless of gangster connections.... there was a lot on this; I’d half wake up, very sore; half crying.... Because I remember few details it’s difficult to explain the nightmarish quality this had. There was also some material on my mother....
Sunday night I slept very well until dawn arrived. Then again I went into a nightmarish quality dream, with no story line. Or very little. I imagined the different ways magazines like The National Enquirer could trick someone into giving an interview to start with, and turn people against each other, (Carol Burnett is suing that paper—the story was in the news lately.) From there some wild stuff that doesn’t make sense now, with strange things happening to my chair pillow as I sat on it.... not at all sure but the idea was that unpredictable unpleasant things could happen I suppose to “knock you off your ass.” Again I grew very sore—after being fairly comfortable for the night—half awakened crying as different things happened that I’ve forgotten.... So all I have out of this I guess is released feelings that the world is at best unpredictable and can hurt you at any time. I also half knew that the entire affair was exaggerated.... the idea being to bring the feelings to the front of my mind.... The affair reminded me of an incident when I was a kid, in science class, as a freshman in high school. Another kid pulled my chair out from behind me so that when I went to sit down I fell on the floor instead. This was the same class in which I took the church’s stand against evolution to my teacher’s disgust....