“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Frank Longwell visited yesterday noon. During one of our discussions yesterday, also, I mentioned to Jane some of my own ideas about the power of the Sinful Self, according to Seth’s material. For even though it was seemingly somewhat isolated or cut off from the personality’s creative processes, as well as from many current events and ideas, still it had that power to so drastically influence the physical body. This of course implied strong connections with the body as it operated in daily physical reality. The two states almost seemed contradictory, I said to Jane, and hoped that Seth would go into that matter eventually.

(Debbie Janney visited unannounced for an hour after supper—all the time Jane would give her—hence the later start for the session. She also missed a chance to meet the Weissenbuehlers from Big Flats, whom we saw last Friday night, since DJ was in Washington, DC over the weekend.

(Today Jane called John Nelson and Tam, and learned where I am to sign the Seven contract, and that Prentice-Hall would be receptive to her third Seven novel. She was also reminded by Tam that Pocket Books has bought the paperback rights to the second Seven, which we had quite forgotten about. The advance was cut considerably from that given for the first Seven also. Pocket Books hasn’t scheduled Seven #2 for publication yet, as far as we know.

(Jane wanted Seth to discuss her panic feelings tonight, although she didn’t seem overly enthusiastic about a session either. When Debbie showed up and the time approached 9 PM, I thought Jane might choose to pass up the session after all. “It’s important, though,” I said to her when Debbie was out of the room for a moment. Jane agreed, saying DJ was ready to leave, and we held the session after all.)

Illnesses are in their way inadequate methods of solving problems. Ruburt had strong elements of personality still caught up in the beliefs of what I have called the Sinful Self. At the same time, for many reasons, he had the idea that he was expected to be not merely a well-adapted natural person, but a kind of superself, solving other people’s problems, being a public personality, a psychic performer, and so forth. There was a vast gulf between those two extremes—one that was bound to cause strain and effort and misunderstandings.

To some extent Ruburt’s panic is also the result of trying to live up to an impossible image, while forgetting his own personal background, and by expecting himself to behave as if that background was unimportant. (Long pause.) He was a person taught to believe that expression was somehow wrong. Despite that he became an excellent writer. He uses expression constantly. He expected himself to be a public personality—that is, he felt the responsibility to be one, as if that had always been a goal, when of course it had not been.

(Long pause at 9:58.) He had been shy with people, shy about reading his own poetry, though determined to do so, yet he felt that he should become this public personality, or to perform. I keep trying to think of examples so that you know what I mean. The entire idea of responsibility has been over-stressed. The creative work was expected not only to be creative, imaginative, intuitive, to contain the highest elements of conceptual thought, but must also be capable of solving the most concrete physical problem, tuned with some magical tuning fork so that it could serve almost any purpose required of it.

(Long pause.) He was also expected to be an excellent businesswoman, a fine artist, an extrovertish personality, to shine in any company, an introvert capable of greater spiritual exertion. He expected too much of himself. At the same time, of course, to some extent he blocked his own natural motion (underlined), which followed directly from his own motivations and abilities, his own desires and instincts.

(A one-minute pause at 10:11.) You have always been do-it-yourselfers, so your strengths and weaknesses become quite noticeable. (Long pause.) Who can say when determination ends up in stubbornness? (Something I’ve wondered about at times.) Ruburt has been facing the feelings of panic, however, that he had buried. They may not be pleasant, but they are expressions, often enough of valid-enough questions and fears that were overlooked or pooh-poohed as insignificant or foolish in the light of this superself image, who was expected to have no doubts, no fears, only flawless performance.