“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Like the last deleted session, this one is Jane’s own dictation, not Seth’s. She’d mentioned doing some yesterday, but it hadn’t worked out. “I don’t know what to talk about,” she said at 11:05 AM, “now that you’re here. Something on Rich Bed, or just generally about those feelings I had yesterday after reading your introduction for Dreams....” When I mentioned that she could dictate something for the intro she said she couldn’t—not without reading it again. I didn’t advise that, for yesterday morning she’d ended up very depressed after pursuing it right after breakfast. Her mood had been very despairing for most of the day. “It’s devastating, I guess,” she said about the intro.

I guess I thought that I’d keep up some level of communication if I talked as I am now, and Robbie took the words down. Come to think of it, I did feel fairly hopeful this morning for brief snatches. I was going to record some memories that suddenly came to me yesterday morning. Of the last few months or so I spent at my mother’s house—when she called me time after time during those spring and summer months of 1950: she wanted her pillows turned, she cried out in rage and pain—and here I was some 30 years later, calling out to Rob (voice breaking) to move my pillows or raise my head.

(I also said that I thought today’s material was the result of Jane’s reading that intro after breakfast yesterday, which had triggered her day-long black mood of despair. I thought the intro had triggered Jane’s material about her mother—for here Jane was, creating—or at least mimicking—her mother’s situation on her own. Jane’s material this morning seemed to show that her buried feelings about her mother were much stronger than she’s suspected, and more damaging. Perhaps we’ll discover that they play as strong a role in Jane’s dilemma presently, as my wife’s Sinful-Self material. For Jane the two sets of material-beliefs could be very closely related—seems like this would be almost inevitable.