“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Eventually, and very reluctantly, since I considered it a sign of a major failure, I ended up carrying her physically from the john to her chair—rather awkwardly but not with as much trouble as I’d anticipated, yet also feeling a bit of a strain in my lower back. I am still aware of a muscular sensation there, although I slept well. Jane was much relieved that I could move her, and surprised, but I had my doubts about being able to do that on a longer-term basis: I dared not endanger my own physical condition lest I be unable to take care of her otherwise, regardless of how poorly or with what ill grace I might do that.

The strain is a result of your own attitudes, of course—of a burden being applied that should or need not be. It seems there is nothing wrong with your back. It is your attitude that hurts. And that also speaks to Ruburt to express your own feelings: you cannot depend on me to do this all the time. The same statement was made when you carried Ruburt to the car. In exaggerated form, Ruburt makes the same statement of his own with his own symptoms—that is, they also express attitudes. Theoretically, your love alone could sweep the discomfort away, so that Ruburt felt as light as a feather. They express your reluctance, of course, and outrage against the situation.