“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I stood waiting many minutes while Jane struggled to get up. I was speechless once again, hardly able to sort out the thoughts and feelings churning in my head. When Jane finally admitted she couldn’t make it, I went back out to the kitchen to do the dishes and close up the house for the night. The wait hadn’t helped; she still sat waiting on the toilet. I lost my patience and my temper as I stood beside her, threatening to leave her sitting there all night while I went to bed. My own fears left me seeing visions of a drastically changed relationship between us, and a different life-style, one probably considerably less private if she needed nursing care, say, “What are you trying to do to me?” I demanded, and so forth. “Please don’t holler at me now,” Jane said. “Do it later....”

(I should take a moment here to note that Seth has said this before, and that Jane has referred to it also. I for one haven’t had any such feelings, since from the very beginning of our relationship I’ve always felt certain that in Jane I’d found the ideal mate—an achievement I’ve considered most fortunate, one I’d hardly dared dream I’d manage to do. Looking back, our meeting and getting together seemed the most natural and inevitable things in the world; how could I improve upon that? I’ve always been intensely proud of Jane’s achievements and abilities, and glad to be able to participate in them to whatever degree. The thing that has left me distraught, nearly broken-hearted, is to see her in such a progressively poor physical situation as the years have passed. Especially devastating is this when the material explains very clearly that things don’t have to be that way. No wonder I say to her that we’ve paid too high a price for our achievements. I want to see her able to manipulate like other people, of course, and to have her achievements also; that things haven’t worked out that way so far can’t but help have a profound effect upon my feelings, hers, and our relationship, which I’ve always taken absolutely as being as solid and enduring as the elements.)