“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Our difficulties made themselves known with a vengeance when I pushed Jane into the bathroom in her chair after 10:30 PM: because for the first time, she failed to be able to get up from her seat on the john, and back to her chair as I stood waiting. She tried twice, but her feet and legs just wouldn’t support her, much less navigate well enough for her to walk. She said several times that she was frightened. I couldn’t reach her to help from the other side of the chair, because of our bathroom’s architecture. The ultimate fear had manifested itself, then: Jane was no longer able to maneuver in the bathroom. What now?

(Eventually, and very reluctantly, since I considered it a sign of a major failure, I ended up carrying her physically from the john to her chair—rather awkwardly but not with as much trouble as I’d anticipated, yet also feeling a bit of a strain in my lower back. I am still aware of a muscular sensation there, although I slept well. Jane was much relieved that I could move her, and surprised, but I had my doubts about being able to do that on a longer-term basis: I dared not endanger my own physical condition lest I be unable to take care of her otherwise, regardless of how poorly or with what ill grace I might do that.