“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Now I explained to Jane what I considered to be “a gorgeous little illustration” of how unconscious hassles can go on in the psyche quite unsuspected by the conscious mind as the cause for physical difficulties: As stated, when I woke up this afternoon my stomach hurt. It’s been bothering me for the last few days, for no apparent reason; looking back, probably since Jack Joyce visited a few days ago about our making estimated tax payments to NY State. Interestingly enough, though, I made no such conscious connection until I began writing these notes. Then it came to consciousness: of course. Today I paid estimated federal and NYS taxes, and had planned to do so since seeing Jack. At once I checked with the pendulum—and got a great big yes —that was why my stomach had been acting up. My old bugaboo had returned, but very craftily so that I hadn’t been aware of it. I’d thought I’d managed to dismiss concerns about taxes, and actually have succeeded in doing so to a large degree—witness my physical well-being when paying taxes last April 15, for example. “Yet,” I said to Jane, “it shows how conflicts can keep going underground if you don’t watch it, and can be very damaging in the long run....”

(Long pause at 9:07.) In many ways Tam and Ruburt got along quite well, even though Tam was a good deal younger, where before Ruburt’s editors had been people a good deal older than he. When the book was done Ruburt began another, along with several different attempts. Dreams, Astral Projection and ESP, I believe was to be the title. Ruburt signed for the book but had difficulty with his presentation, and it represented his indecisions, so Tam respectfully at first suggested large alterations.

(9:38.) He therefore became upset whenever there were difficulties in which you and Prentice disagreed, or you and he disagreed, and he became highly uneasy if you and Tam seemed to disagree. He began to feel less competent in his dealings. He began to feel somewhat humiliated that as a woman he needed his husband to take care of such matters, and he felt threatened not only by such circumstances, but of course by the changes going on at Prentice itself and by Tam’s own growing restlessness.

He realized that at another house he might receive more money or more publicity, or possibly another more esthetically-presented package, yet against the other uncertainties and vicissitudes he felt he had an acceptable framework of operation. Whose difficulties were minimal enough under the circumstances —one that provided creative freedom since, until Emir, Prentice had published his world-view books, poetry and novels, as well as my work. He made the Emir decision regretfully but very clearly.

That involved the deletion of copy, you see. He agreed with you thoroughly there. Though he did not agree about your opinion of Prentice per se, involving the difficulty, he blamed the foreign publisher. He felt, however, that some of your own anger against the foreign publisher was directed at Tam. Much of this involves simple differences in temperament. He did not deny the fact of your own visually acute behavior. He felt stupid when you became annoyed at typos or misspellings or whatever that he did not even perceive until you mentioned them. He felt between you and Prentice and Tam at various stages, of course, and did not feel certain of his old capacity to set the relationship right. He also began to distrust his own earlier methods of dealing with the situation.