“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Jane tried to half-heartedly deny this, without really considering the question, I thought—not that I wanted her to to any great degree before Seth got into it. He’s mentioned the subject occasionally, of course. But I told Jane that now I’d need advice on how to handle my reactions to Prentice-Hall so as not to alarm her further.

(This afternoon, when I returned from running errands—paying state and federal taxes, etc.—Jane told me that she was having all kinds of “weird things” happening in her back and legs, as though various portions of her anatomy were loosening at uneven rates. Her balance and double vision were affected too. We slept together during a nap. I woke up with my stomach bothering me, and Jane, half crying, with a continuing of the strange, intensified feelings of uncontrolled motion/extra-slow motion combined and manifested in her back and legs. She worried about not being able to get from the bed to the chair to the john, but did well nevertheless.

(Yet she found the changes frightening, although she kept in mind Seth’s material that the fright was not to be feared but understood as expressing buried fears, to put it simply. When she called me for the session at 8:30, she showed me how she has picked up unaccustomed movement in her legs: She could raise her legs several inches higher—the right one the easiest—than she’d been able to do this morning; obvious signs that the changes were beneficial. Yet she couldn’t move her right leg to the side at all—“There’s no action there at all,” she said, “as though something’s blocking it.” I said it meant other groups of big muscles were tightened in order to help support her while the first groups were rejuvenating themselves in safety. I also said that I thought the publication of God of Jane at last had served as a stimulus for the changes. I looked forward to more physical improvements for her.

(Now I explained to Jane what I considered to be “a gorgeous little illustration” of how unconscious hassles can go on in the psyche quite unsuspected by the conscious mind as the cause for physical difficulties: As stated, when I woke up this afternoon my stomach hurt. It’s been bothering me for the last few days, for no apparent reason; looking back, probably since Jack Joyce visited a few days ago about our making estimated tax payments to NY State. Interestingly enough, though, I made no such conscious connection until I began writing these notes. Then it came to consciousness: of course. Today I paid estimated federal and NYS taxes, and had planned to do so since seeing Jack. At once I checked with the pendulum—and got a great big yes —that was why my stomach had been acting up. My old bugaboo had returned, but very craftily so that I hadn’t been aware of it. I’d thought I’d managed to dismiss concerns about taxes, and actually have succeeded in doing so to a large degree—witness my physical well-being when paying taxes last April 15, for example. “Yet,” I said to Jane, “it shows how conflicts can keep going underground if you don’t watch it, and can be very damaging in the long run....”

(Long pause, eyes closed, leaning back.) Ruburt cannot understand all of the processes that are involved, but the body knows what is to be done, and is working with its own rhythms. This may cause temporary disorientation, but that will also pass, as you can see. Certain portions of the body were released this evening. By all means let Ruburt continue to express his feelings to you about the situation, however, and reassure him of his body’s competence.

Now: about Prentice. I do not want to lay stress upon any negative effects, but to explain differences of opinion and behavior. The initial relationship began some time ago, of course, and in a fashion had its own background as far as Ruburt was concerned. When he wrote short stories, for example, he was forced to search for a publisher for each one—a magazine. He learned to deal with the various editors by mail. He sold most of his stories to Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine when Boucher was the editor.

He considered Prentice-Hall a further excellent step upward, a reputable-enough publisher. Tam as editor did not go for his first—or that is, Ruburt’s first presentation, however, but suggested the book that ended up as The Seth Material.

(Long pause at 9:07.) In many ways Tam and Ruburt got along quite well, even though Tam was a good deal younger, where before Ruburt’s editors had been people a good deal older than he. When the book was done Ruburt began another, along with several different attempts. Dreams, Astral Projection and ESP, I believe was to be the title. Ruburt signed for the book but had difficulty with his presentation, and it represented his indecisions, so Tam respectfully at first suggested large alterations.

Now overall he wanted an attractive package, of course, yet to him the book was in the copy mainly. (Long pause.) The Bantam photograph covers did displease him, but in a fashion he did not expect any more from the mass paperback situation. For some time he felt competent then in those business dealings. He felt loyalty to Tam, who he felt was loyal to him. At the same time he did not idealize Tam, and was well aware of some of his natural failings.

Many of the typos, for example, did not exist for Ruburt. He valued the good feelings that existed between himself and Tam, and quite preferred for example not to deal with too many other people at Prentice, but to keep the situation as simple as possible. They settled many matters by hastily scribbled notes (pause), and by other methods that sometimes did not even seem to deal with the matter at hand.

(9:38.) He therefore became upset whenever there were difficulties in which you and Prentice disagreed, or you and he disagreed, and he became highly uneasy if you and Tam seemed to disagree. He began to feel less competent in his dealings. He began to feel somewhat humiliated that as a woman he needed his husband to take care of such matters, and he felt threatened not only by such circumstances, but of course by the changes going on at Prentice itself and by Tam’s own growing restlessness.

He realized that at another house he might receive more money or more publicity, or possibly another more esthetically-presented package, yet against the other uncertainties and vicissitudes he felt he had an acceptable framework of operation. Whose difficulties were minimal enough under the circumstances —one that provided creative freedom since, until Emir, Prentice had published his world-view books, poetry and novels, as well as my work. He made the Emir decision regretfully but very clearly.

He is pleased now that both books are on the market. He is pleased with their appearance. There are a few other issues I will add, including his changing attitudes and yours toward the disclaimer—but that is for another evening.