“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(So much has happened since the last private session was held a month ago [on May 7] that I told Jane tonight that I’d make no attempt to summarize it all here. Suffice it to note that, as I also told her as we sat for this session, that these last few sessions may be “the last gasp” before we seek outside help, or are forced to. Indeed, that process has probably already begun. Events began to come to a head last week with the professional visit of “our” optometrist, Jim Adams, to check Jane’s double vision problems.

(Jane’s symptoms, especially her walking ability, have become much worse since the last private session was held—so much so that all of a sudden it seems to be a question of how much longer she can continue to make it to the john here in the house. It can hardly be a coincidence that last week, too, we received our copies of Mass Events from Prentice-Hall, along with word from Tam that the controversial book is now being shipped nationwide. I’m positive, I said, that she became worse because of that book’s publication, along with the forthcoming publication of God of Jane, probably later this week. I for one am holding my breath in the hope and trust that God of Jane’s issuance doesn’t also contribute to a worsening of her symptoms. Her feet are more swollen and slow-moving now than I’ve seen them be in a number of years.

(Perhaps it was no coincidence that before supper tonight Jack Joyce visited to discuss how much we should pay quarterly on our estimated NY State tax for 1981 — another success story that must be paid for?

(Jim Adams also called just before supper, and I relayed the substance of his call to Jane. Last week he’d said himself that Jane’s eyes were good, that she had no eye disease, or glaucoma, etc. —worries Jane has fretted over for years. Jim agreed with us—and Seth, incidentally—that Jane’s trouble with double vision was muscular in nature. He decided against using prisms to unify her visions because of frequent problems people had with nausea, etc. Instead he measured her for new reading glasses, and these alone evoked an enthusiastic response from Jane, since she could see to read much better with the test lenses.

(Jim Adams also suggested that Jane see a medical internist to get at the root of the muscular difficulty, and gave us the names of three local doctors he recommended highly. He also promised to call an ophthalmologist friend of his, to explain Jane’s case to him and hear what this individual—a Dr. Werner—had to say about Jane’s double vision. Thus, tonight in his call Jim told me that Dr. Werner had said that Jane’s double vision was “the end result” of something muscular in nature. Dr. Werner recommended that she be tested to discover the causes, and asked Jim if Jane had ever had any “mini-strokes,” since such unsuspected and even unfelt attacks could have muscular repercussions. Dr. Werner added that he felt Jane should get attention, since help could lengthen her life span through muscular relaxation. Jim Adams is to see us later this week to check on black frames for Jane’s new glasses, and she can question him on Werner’s responses then.

(I might add that Frank Longwell has suggested that Jane’s extreme slowness of movement currently stems from healing changes taking place in her muscles, and that such movement is protective in nature. Perhaps, I said, but the slower motion doesn’t appear to be leading anywhere, as one might expect it to. We gather that Frank isn’t particularly in favor of contacting the medical establishment, but what is one to do, I asked Jane, if one cannot bring oneself out of his or her difficulties unaided? Jane has been having steadily increasing difficulties in the bathroom ever since the last private session was held—and, of course, even before that. Seth has said often that just because one has physical difficulties does not mean those problems are fated to get endlessly and progressively worse, but this hasn’t been born out in Jane’s case —so far. How much longer dare we wait? Jane herself said during Jim Adams’s first visit that “I don’t want to go to any hospital for tests.”

Ruburt is not in a life-threatening situation. There is nothing wrong, say, with his blood, though circulation is impaired. Your optometrist told you more or less what I told you about Ruburt’s eyes. In that no eye disease as such was responsible. Ruburt has not had a series of strokes—or any strokes.

Because of the Prentice situation, and because of the decision not to work on our book for a while, he felt blocked, not knowing how or when to move ahead (underlined). For all of your own regrets and recriminations about Prentice, for example, he was himself pleased by Tam’s letter today, that that bridge toward motion had not been severed.

At the same time he was trying to uncover the basic reasons for his difficulties, so that all in all a good deal of loaded material of one kind or another was being encountered, some discussed in these sessions.

(8:54.) Ruburt always wanted to help his mother, and felt largely powerless to do so. His mother’s condition made him ask questions, of course, concerning man’s condition, at a very early age. To some extent trying to help the world is a larger, expanded attempt to address such situations. Again, he was in no way responsible for his mother’s condition, however, or for her unhappiness, nor is he in those terms responsible for the unhappy situations of other people.